[SuperDave71]

Hello Everyone,

I have read countless posts here regarding break-ups and heartache. I to remember the depression diet as well as the many hours of thinking of the worst case scenerio. The mind can be a cruel thing if you don't get a hold of yourself in moments of weakness and hurt. I am living proof that relationships CAN be rekindled and better than before. There has been many post with wonderful advice....the key to all of the advice here is you must choose to take it or leave it. If you do not have a plan, you're lost. It will be difficult to find what you are hoping for otherwise.

Break-ups, though they hurt, need to be looked at from a different point of view rather than OVER. Someone once said that if you take the "L" out of LOVER that it is OVER........not true.



Rule 1.
Relax...take a deep breath and let it out. As long as you two are not dead there is hope, even if the other is involved.


Rule 2.
Be patient. Remember this...if you focus on them and NOT YOU..you are in for a rude awakening. People need time to reflect on "What just happened?" If you sit in a room and ponder what you did wrong with the light out listening to bad AIR SUPPLY tunes...your not focusing. There is nothing wrong however with grieving....been there...done that. (Just stay away from AIR SUPPLY)


Rule 3.
I believe with all that I am in the NO CONTACT rule. Why do ya ask? Well, pleading will get you NO where and you come off as weak and needy. No one likes signs of desperation. This also applies to those out there that want to send flowers and gifts....THEY WON'T WORK!! Any gift will be looked at as manipulation. A big no no. The way I see it is if you do not contact the other..you make NO MISTAKES!!! Makes sense! If you Pick up the phone ...chances are you will get hurt whether it was something they say to you, or something you said to them....it usally makes you feel worse as you dig into Blue Bell ice cream asking yourself "Why the HELL did I say that!!!??"


Rule 4.
See Rule 3 again..IT'S THAT IMPORTANT!!


Rule 5.
Work on yourself! After a good grieving period (only you know how long) you need to work on you. Do this FOR YOU..not them. Wanna lose some weight, need a new outfit, get those power tools if ya want'em...
Focus on you and think about what happened in the relationship...What would you change if you had them back? Do you need them back or do you WANT them back? <-- HUGE Difference. Were your needs being fulfilled while in the relationship? If not, why? THese were things I asked myself while I was away from my girl.


Rule 6.
They will call..JUST BE PATIENT!!! I promise you.....this almost NEVER fails. The key is NOT TO CALL THEM FIRST...try not to grab the phone as soon as it rings or maybe even don't pick it up. Make yourself LESS available. This is HARD AS HELL TO DO (I can't lie) but if you do...they will want to contact you more and more. Its a reverse psycology thing.


Rule 7.
Stay calm and don't ask STUPID questions....(i.e. Have ya slept with _ _ _ _ _ _ _ yet? or how is your new @#$%^ loser boyfriend?)

If you be someones friend rather than bombard them with questions...you come off as more relaxed and together. People tend to tray away from crazy people (ha ha) I woudl stray away from using the "LOVE" word as well....people tend to run like FOREST GUMP when hearing it after a break-up or it just hurts to bad.



Rule 8.
Take is slow!. Don't rush. Be their friend most of all and let them open up to you if they want. Don't criticize or blame for mistakes that led to the break-up. Listen.....they will tell you and show you what they are feeling.....when I say listen..I mean with your ears and your heart.


Rule 9
Use your best judgement.......Remember....if you screw up and go to fast, or blame or any of the other HORRIBLE things that people do when they break-up..its your own fault. I am not saying other poeple are not cruel but if YOU make the mistakes...my point taken.


Rule 10
If they come back..DO NOT TAKE THEM FOR GRANTED!!! Love them like there is NO TOMORROW!!!



These are just a few things to think about on your road to getting back together. You can do it!! I know you can....Keep your head on straight and focus....Remember..you goal is to have them back again in your arms FOR THE RIGHT REASONS!!


Take care and good luck to you all...


Feel free to send me an PM if you would like...I will be more than happy to listen...


Your Friend,


SuperDave71



PS. Remember....Everyone has a different situation....in my post above I used the term "rules". Please keep in mind these are basic guidelines that you could follow. The main thing is to maintain control of you. No one can change you BUT YOU. If you are basing your happiness on someone else..then it won't work. You need to be happy with yourself first.

Keep in mind some poeple in this world are in love with the FEELING of being loved or wanted. Do not mistake this feeling for the real thing. Look inside yourself and ask yourself what you expect of someone and don't settle. If the one you love can't meet what you deserve..maybe it was better that your apart.

In closing....

If there is a core of loving between two people, I believe that it can be rekindled better than ever...the key ladies and gentlemen is not falling in love......IT'S STAYING IN LOVE


Just my 2 cents worth..