[xxSPHYNXxx]

Shipwrecked welcome!

In reading thru the thread I too will comment coming from a woman's perspective and also from life's "lessons" and in stating this what I am meaning is we all start out on our journey. Along the way we make choices. Depending on the choices we make, consequences follow, thus we then have our life's lesson. And some of the lessons that follow are "hard" to swallow!

As I understand you and your partner were together four years. During your four year relationship for whatever reasons you broke up with her three times. And as you state "she" went to "you" after the prior two breakups to try and work things out.

You didn't give us much information on the two prior break ups but on the third you state that "the third time i ended it because we were having problems with our intimacy and she started to get complacent and lazy". Now I'm trying to get her back and all she says is that we were not meant for each other. A question I have for you... Why did you want her back? What changed?

Over a period of four years she tried to work things out with you, sounds to me "unconditionally". She went back to "you" both times. A question you ask "how could someone who loved me so much, just leave me in the dust and tell me to move on?
If she tried and tried AND tried and YOU kept denying her, the third time you broke up with her she emotionally checked out and moved on. There is only so much "anyone" can take. Your actions in this case spoke volumes.

I am sorry for the pain that you are going thru. At this time I honestly feel she is trying to tell you "gently" that she is moving on. I don't feel that she is being cold at all. She is focusing on her and trying to get herself "whole" again. I believe you should do the same. Take time for you and get yourself "whole" again. Reflect back over the past four years and hopefully in the future, and in your next relationship you won't make the same mistakes.

One lesson I can tell you many of us learn "we don't realize what we have until it's gone".

I wish you the best.

SPHYNX