Seeking some "general" advice

[bewanchuk]

Hi,

I doubt anyone remembers my username except for possibly Spynx and possible superdave. I posted numerous times back with dealing with an ex, and unfortunately just need some advice on a little recent dilimena. It's almost marking a year that I've been apart from my ex, and in all fairness I'm doing great now. I'm working full time for my summer and job and school is just up on the horizon of September. However, today I did talk to my ex and it wasn't pleasant. Me and my ex began talking again before she moved to her new city, and since she moved it got worse and worse. Being as I am always nice, I always gave into sending her e-mails and wishing her good luck with her studies. Never once since she moved away did she initiate even a simple hello, or reply back to my messages without months passing away. Today I did see her on msn, and following my heart and not my head I decided to say hello. I have no talked to her for 3 months and the whole conversation felt like talking to a complete stranger. I found out she came back to my city during may, and did not even bother checking the msgs I sent her before going in my own NC. It really ticked me off to know that she didn't even care about saying a simple hello or anything. During the conversation I kept on appologizing for making it awkward as I did not know what to say because I was so angered at finding out these new events. As well the entire time I kept hinting on something I wanted to say to her hopefully on a webcam as the last time we did talk was on a webcam. My main question is I really don't know what to do. The entire time I hinted on something special I wanted to say to her, and all that something special was a happy birthday being as it was next week. I'm just so angered to know how little I Am valued. She said she would get back to me if we're able to have a webcam, but now the fun is quite literally out of the surprise. She didn't respond at the end and when I got home from some arrands left a response "sorry, I got busy in something... and couldn't reply back. Hope your family is doing well, and best of luck". I really don't know why I even said hello, and I constantly over look everything she throws at me. Just curious on some advice especially since her birthday is next week and that I don't know how to react approaching it.


Thanks,

Braden

[Silverstar]

Hi Bewanchuck, welcome back, I do remember you.

Reading your post it was very clear to me she has been avoiding you. If I'm correct you broke up, did NC for a while and started talking again, but then she suddenly she did NC again, untill your recent chat.

She didn't act like she had missed you or wanted to start things again, so I suppose she just reacted to your chat to be nice.
I see nothing wrong in wishing her a happy birthday, but don't expect much of her. Her whole behaviour shows very clearly that she only sees you as a friend. I think it would be better if you started NC again untill you don't have feelings for her anymore also. If you don't you will be getting hurt everytime again.

Take care my friend

[thatdoggirl]

I agree with Silverstar. Technically she didn't do anything wrong by not talking to you or reading your e-mails because you two did break up. Just because of that doesn't mean that she doesn't care. She seems to at least want to be on good terms as friends, however, if it's hurting you to talk with her and you find yourself getting angry about things from the past that you can't control then it's probably for the best to wait until you have let go of the feelings. Until then there might be more possibility of taking things the wrong way or being hurt. Her being away from her computer when you were chatting is understandable. Sometimes I'll be talking to a friend online or through text and then I'll have to do something or run an errand and there is no time to respond until later.

[bewanchuk]

Thank you very much for the replies,

I haven't felt the way I did yesterday for such a long time. Regardless, I have never missed feeling like that and I definately know what I gotta do. Although, I would love to wish her a happy birthday I'm not going to. I gotta redo the NC and stop worry about everything that is outside of my control. I.e. overanalyzing etc.. etc...


I appreciate the feedback more than anything, and boy does it help clear out the mind.


Thank you very much

[Tiggerinlondon]

Your username is very memorable! As for the rest, I think with your history you know that Silverstar and TDG are giving you sound advice.

All I can do is reinforce what they've said and ask that you try to be logical and thusly help yourself.

Take care & good luck

Annita