Warrior, rare guest :-)

[Warrior]

Hey everyone. Long time no see. Perhaps someone still remembers me? :-)

Just a very brief recap of my Ex story: relationship only six month in 2007, break-up in 2008. Tried to get her back with mostly the right methods; about after half year into the break-up she noticeable started to become unsure about the break-up. I honestly think I was almost there, but then I made a very sudden move, and got rejected. This was to be expected and not necessarily a bad thing -- in these casees one should simply take one step back and continue a bit more slowly. After all, she was unsure, right? But instead I threw in another six weeks of NC, which, I think really broke it. Note: After the initial NC, a 2nd NC many months into the break-up does more harm than it does good if you still want to reconciliate. At the same she prepared for her exams/thesis paper, which I mistook for disinterest in me.

This year, I only saw her like five times. I ignored most of her text messages, and declined her three (!) invitations to come to her housewarming party. Saw her again last week, she's still single by the way. We still share same humor, interests and topics. But there's some sort of awkward distance that wasn't present last year when she was unsure about the break-up. We didn't see and talk for three months previous to last week, though, so this might be the reason.

I was dating three women since the break-up (still continuing to date), but this is going nowhere.

Am still I hurting? No. Do I want my Ex back? I don't know, she's very hot, and pretty funny and clever. So perhaps yes, but I can't say for sure. Am I doing something to get her back? Not right now. I don't know what I should do.
I know that I can take her on a date anytime. I know we're going to have fun. But I also know we're going to part as if we were just acquaintances.

So well, I just don't know...

Now I've got to read up on the forum here :-)
Warrior

[xxSPHYNXxx]

Warrior~

Yes I do remember you and it is good to see you back....thank you for the update. Oftentimes I feel that after the first break up when your heart was hurt the hardest if partners do get back together and again break up, etc. etc. I feel you lose a piece of you and that relationship each time....I dont think you ever re capture what you two once were although we have in our minds how "perfect" it will be the next. Doesn't make it any easier, we still have to deal with the pain, loss and hurt of the breakup.

If you do go out on another date will you be ok parting as acquaintances? Continue to date, walk thur those doors....one day the right one will be on the other side and recipricate all that you desire.

I wish you well.

xxSPHYNXxx

[Warrior]

Thanks, Sphynx!

If I were to get back with her after those two years, I wouldn't want it to be like it was back then. We never lived the potential that we had, not even remotely close. I've learned so much since then; I've learned many things that I should've learned much earlier. I'm feeling more complete now than ever before, and it resonates with new women (and people in general) that I meet. Funny that I had to become 42 for that...

I'm very glad that this break-up gave me the opportunity to take a long hard look at myself. If you offered me to roll back time, back to my relationship with her, but in turn I'd have to surrender my new wisdom, I would decline immediately. Strangely, this break-up was the worst thing that ever happened to me (worse even than my mother's death) BUT ALSO the best thing at the same time. I'm a better man because of it now. I'm not going to give up this experience, it's mine, it's part of me.

I will continue dating, but I'm not going to settle for second best. I did that many times before, but will never again (I'm not talking about my ex here -- she's a great gal). Can I live being just acquainted with her? I don't know yet. Time will tell. Do I see us getting back together against all odds some day? I don't know either. The pain and the hurt feelings are gone. I'm not in a hurry. I have all the time in the world. For whatever comes my way, my ex, or Mrs. Right, who can tell :-)

Warrior