Oh god, i just had a painful thought....

[Cityboy88]

Valentines day is coming up, and you know if our exs have valentines, that arent us, it probably is going to drive us insane and be pretty painful...ugh!!

[Frangipani]

Hey Dan,

Valentines Day really is a crock of commercialness these days. Most partners I have had never celebrated it anyway and, believed as I do, that you should do those things for your partner all year round. Why would it be any different to any other day exes spend with a new partner and not us?

Just try to put it out of your mind and remember that we can't control the uncontrolables in our lives. Don't let a Hallmark holiday get you down.

[thatdoggirl]

Exactly what Frangipani said! Seriously, my bf doesn't really do anything extra out of the normal on Valentine's Day either because he considers it just a commercialized holiday... that's how he feels about all holidays pretty much. So for some people isn't not even that special of a day. Instead he does little things here and there every now and then like getting me my favorite soda, taco bell (haha), and monkeys.

So don't get too down about Valentine's Day because some couples don't even celebrate it. Valentine's Day is just like any other day so either way they are with that other person. Definitely something that won't help to keep thinking about. Check out the thread on this board about Thought Stoppage. It also talks about Positive Thinking.

Instead of thinking about the negatives of Valentine's Day perhaps try thinking of fun stuff you can do that day even when you're single. Just because you're single doesn't mean you can't enjoy the candies or give and recieve Valentine's from friends just like when we were kids. Heck, I'm all for having each and every one of you hear at LoveLogic as my Valentine. So how about it LoveLogic? Will you all be my valentine???

[zedtech]

My ex hated Valentine's Day before we started dating. She had such bad luck with guys around that time of the year until I came along and spoiled her to death. I went all out that first year we were dating, she was left speechless. With that said, I'm not worried if she spends it with someone else, I've always been much happier spoiling the person I'm with anyhow

[Dan72]

Eek, yes, this has crossed my mind too. I had such wonderful surprise stuff planned for her too. I was going to take her to Paris and propose,..

Ah well, in reality, it's just another day like any other

[JTV2008]

So then let's not think about it. Let's just treat it like any other day, which it really is anyway!

It's just an excuse for florists and restaurants to jack up their prices. ;)

I won't lie and say I've never celebrated it, because I have. I will usually give a silly card and an equally silly gift. I never go all out.

Last year I had this guy in my life that I simply did not like in a romantic way. He was good to me and I *tried* to like him, but I learned that you just can't force feelings like that. Anyway, a couple of weeks before V-Day he asked me for my work address and I made him PROMISE me that he wasn't going to send me anything. He said, "Don't worry. I promise I will not send you flowers on Valentines Day." Phew. Crisis averted. But .... what did he do instead? On the days before V-Day, I got 2 dozen roses each day and I think there were 3 days of deliveries. Needless to say, I was the talk of the office. Poor guy must have spent a small fortune. That next Monday, I finally had it out with him and he yelled at me, "Why don't you just put your profile back up on Match?!" and I did. And 2 days later my ex wrote me for the very first time. Sigh.

[Cityboy88]

hmm sounds exciting. lol so otherwise, hows the healing going jtv?

[OhManINeedCoffee]

I'm like a lot of people who have already posted on this - I never did much for Valentine's Day even when I was in a relationship. Maybe a goofy card or something, but other than that...

For my ex one year, I made him homemade Chex mix for birthday/Valentine's (they're about a month apart), and he had often "swooned" several times at the thought of homemade Chex mix, so I figured out how to make it and mailed him a huge batch of it. He really did appreciate it, and apparently it was gone by the next day, but it sorta backfired - apparently the Worchestershire (or however the hell you spell it) gave him the trots for the next day or so...

He said it was totally worth the digestive issues, but after that I decided to stick to the occassional goofy card and verbal "Happy chocolate heart day, let's go have a beer."

Nothing says "I love you" like a horrible case of diarrhea.

So, I guess what I'm trying to say, Cityboy, is not to think too much about Valentine's Day - it's not always a pleasant, lovey-dovey holiday, even when you are in a relationship. Sometimes it just gives you the sh*ts, no matter how nice you try to make it.

[Cityboy88]

hahaha nicely put coffee

[JTV2008]

OMG, Kelley! That is hilarous!

As for me, City ....I'm hanging in there. Some days are better than others. I just can't wait for the day where he's out of my head for good! He's a blubbering jackass as far as I'm concerned though and I *hope* to run into him one day when I'm looking fabulous because I've decided that if that day were to ever come, he'll get a look and then I will turn my head. He won't get the old "it's so great to see you" from me. He doesn't deserve it. But alas, I doubt I will EVER run into him as we live 45 minutes apart and simply don't hang out in the same areas. Never say never though!

[Cityboy88]

yeah.. i wont run into my ex either unless we both go out of our ways, as the previous recent two times. I cant wait until she is out of my mind either, its like cancer.. lol I dont recall what your ex did to you or ur full story , and i dont think you'd want to go back into that but if he is indeed a jackass he doesnt deserve even a wave from you

[JTV2008]

He'll get a look, possibly a smirk and that's about it. I could make it happen if I wanted to, but I'm sure I never will. He plays the drums in a band and I could very easily just go to their website and check out their upcoming gigs. I won't do that though. He'll know it's planned as he plays in an area where I simply never go. It's a fun thought though! LOL

[zedtech]

Originally Posted by OhManINeedCoffee

Nothing says "I love you" like a horrible case of diarrhea.

LMAO! Reminds me of the time my ex caught the stomach flu from me... when we were on a romantic getaway weekend :p

[xxSPHYNXxx]

City~lets not focus on negatives that may happen in the future...instead divert your attention to something positive that you can do. We all know holidays are the most difficult and they come the same time each and every year....it gives us a chance to prepare for them and try and make plans with a great friend, family member or just treat ourselves to something special that day...If we are already preparing for a negative, we have already made up our mind that negativity will encompass that day.


Stay positive, stay strong...

xxSPHYNXxx

[Bustertypsy]

Originally Posted by Frangipani

Hey Dan,

Valentines Day really is a crock of commercialness these days. Most partners I have had never celebrated it anyway and, believed as I do, that you should do those things for your partner all year round. Why would it be any different to any other day exes spend with a new partner and not us?

Just try to put it out of your mind and remember that we can't control the uncontrolables in our lives. Don't let a Hallmark holiday get you down.

I couldn't agree more.If we need commercialism to make us realise what we have then we are sadly lacking.REAL and genuine love shines through every single day,not just on Vals day.