The No Contact Challenge -SuperDave71

[SuperDave71]

Hello my friends at theLoveLogic,


Let's start theLoveLogic


NO CONTACT CHALLENGE...


I did this on another board years ago and I figured for all our new members, this just might be the thing to help you help yourself.



Here are the rules:


1. When you accept this challenge, post here and your time/date and time stamp will be recorded for accuracy.

2. No Contact will be initiated for ONE MONTH from the date that you post. This mean NO CONTACT WHATSOEVER...and I mean NONE. (Including going to picture sites and myspace/or like sites)

3. If you work with your ex, you can still accept the challenge. You cannot do ANYTHING to contact your ex UNLESS it is work related ONLY.

4. If you accept this challange, I would like a post everyday on how you are feeling and what you are doing to pass the time. I am hoping by doing this, others will read and try to help themselves is they have a moment of weakness.



**Remember**

No Contact is for you



5. If you have contact with your ex BY YOUR DOING..YOU MUST POST WHY YOU DID IT AND HOW YOU FEEL RIGHT AFTER. No exceptions.

6. If your ex contacts you, UNLESS IT IS AN EMERGENCY, or there are children involved, you cannot respond. PERIOD. If you do, see rule 5.

7. If an ex comes over or tries to see you physically, this DOES NOT COUNT AGAINST YOU, BUT you MUST POST.

8. After the month of No Contact has past, you must reread all of yoru daily threads and write a conclusion based on what you felt when you started and how you feel 30 days later.

9. When you post daily, please put what day number you are on of the 30 day challenge so that other members can see how you are doing.


If ANYONE out there can come up with more rules, PLEASE PM me so I can update them. I will be happy to listen.


I would like for this to happen because I want other to read the progression involved in the NO CONTACT process.


If you do NOT feel you are up to the challange, ...wait until you are.


I wish you all the best....and GOOD LUCK.


If you accept my challenge, you will be very surprised at the end result.



Your friend,


SuperDave71

[Unca]

Okay, I'm up for this! I was planning on keeping a wee record of how I was feeling every now and again and what day i was on anyway in my own thread, but I'll use this instead!

I'm actually on Day 2 of my NC though, but what the hey, whats 2 days amongst friends? lol

NC CHALLENGE - DAY 1
Mood:- Lonely

Okay so far today I have had to keep my mind busy because thoughts of her and "us" keeps popping into my head on a regular basis. I keep asking myself why she has contacted me (not that i will reply or answer). I wonder if she is in touch with someone else. I'm also thinking about should I take her stuff back to her that she left here (its a poor excuse to see her and try to initiate contact), should I txt her and say that I'm not going to be contacting her (silly idea I know), should I pop into her shop "just to check if they have any clothes my size", should I contact her mum who I really get on with to find out what has been said and if she is okay, etc?

I am trying to be strong, but its hard still at the moment. Aside from work I've been shopping with a female friend, and I've sat and had a chinese meal with my brother and his girlfriend. But its only 9pm now so a long night ahead an no idea how to keep my mind from swaying towards her again.

So roll on Day 3!

[SuperDave71]

Welcome to my challenge! I wish you the bets of luck. Stay string and make sure you update us daily on your progress including how you feel and are you feeling better or worse than you did when you began the challenge.


Take care and keep on posting!



Your Friend,


SuperDave71

[Frangipani]

Glad you opened this thread here Dave. It's helped many people before :)

[SuperDave71]

You are most welcome Frang.


I hope others can learn to not only help others but help themselves as well.



-SuperDave71

[Unca]

NC Challenge - Day 2
Mood:- Worried

Well today I havent been able to get her out my head at all. I had made plans with a friend which fell through which as a result I spent all day on my own and so had far too much time to think. I'm just in from having a night out playing pool with 3 of my oldest male friends, who I spoke to individually, yet even when I was with them all i was wondering was why hasnt she tried to contact me. I was worried she was going out with her friends. I was worried she was meeting someone else. I was worried she isnt going to contact me because I know how stubborn she can be. I want to know what she is thinking. I want to know she misses me.

I KNOW I shouldnt be thinking like this, and that I need to put these thoughts out of my head, and i do try but its so hard. I know I wasnt myself tonight at all. I did try looking at other girls while we were out, but at the moment, I just know that i would compare them to her and they wouldnt even come close.

I have a confession to make as well, after dropping my last friends off, I drove past her house as she stays round the corner. The reason for doing this was to see if she was out our not. If she is out, her mum and dad leave a light on downstairs. The light was off which calmed me a little. But almost straight away I was thinking maybe she was out earlier in the night with someone else rather than her friends, and was therefore home early. I know her friends didnt go out till about 10pm, so its far too early for her to have been out and then home by 1am. Or has she told her mum and dad she is staying at her friends, despite the fact she is working tomorrow?

Yes, I know, theres nothing I can do if she is, it doesnt concern me any more, but I still love her, and I still worry about her...she is still my wife and I cant stand the thought of her being with someone else.

So there you go, not a good day at all. But hey its still early, and I guess its natural to still feel like this so early on.

But why wont she contact me?

[Unca]

NC Challenge - Day 3
Mood :- Pensive

OKay, had a better day today. Although I broke a rule!

read about it here: My Thread (What to do, What to do?)

How do I feel after the contact? I dont know is the simple answer. I would have expected me to be happy or excited because she did actually get in touch, but I'm not. I'm just feeling like a normal me on a sunday after too much sleep! lol

I'm feeling kind of indifferent today, which is a total turn around from yesterday! I dotn have the feeling in my stomach, I'm not worrying about her all the time! But hey, I'm obviously at the top of one of the peaks of the rollercoaster...just wondering when the sharp down bit comes along!

So I'll see how tomorrow goes, but I'm gonna head to bed cause I think I might actually sleep tonight!

[HeartBroken]

I've been a member here for a couple weeks and have decided to finally post. I've been having a hard time dealing with my break up. Its been about a month and a half since the break up and its been really really hard. He dumped me and said he didnt know what he wanted anymore and if I was the one he was meant to be with forever. He said he didnt know if he was in love anymore. Our relationship became really routine and I think he got bored. Plus we had communication problems. We've talked about it but neither of us tried to really work at it and after a while we both just got comfortable in the relationship and stopped trying. Somewhere along the way I guess he fell out of love and broke up with me. I tried and tried to contact him after the break up. I bought him flowers, wrote a letter, stopped by his house, I did it ALL. I sometimes think im crazy for doing all that. But even after all that he still didnt want me back. I'd call/text/email and got NOTHING back. He completely ignored me. I finally wrote him an email saying that I wasnt going to keep trying anymore because it hurt me too much to get ignored and get rejected and that I wished him all the best. He called me a couple days later after reading the email and asked to hang out. I said yes. When we hung out I thought we were just gonna watch a movie and chill. Instead he was cuddly and all kissy and lovey dovey and he said he missed me. We made plans to hang out again in a couple days. Again we cuddled but i noticed he was a little more distant. Both times we hung out it lead to things i wish didnt happen. I left that night and this time we didnt make plans to see eachother again. I texted him a couple days later asking to hang out and all he said was "i cant. sorry." How can you go from being lovey dovey to being so cold? I got mad and I told him I didnt want to be friends with benefits and i hope that wasnt what we were. He did not text me back. I emailed him and still nothing back. So i texted him AGAIN a day later and asked "wanna hang out?". I kind of did it as a test. If he said yes then it would mean i wasnt friends with benefits and he still wanted to hang out if he said no then he was just using me. I got nothing back. =( I was so hurt I cried and cried. How can someone you love treat you this way? I have no idea why he ignores me now and why he wouldnt respond to me. Im so heartbroken. I know our relationship wasnt perfect but I was willing to work at things. But we never talked about our feelings and now its too late.

I decided to start posting and take the challenge. I figure writing down everything will make me feel better too. Today will be my 3rd day of NC. I decided to do the no contact thing bc it was hurting me more in the end to contact him and get ignored. I now realize I was being used and thats the only reason why he called me. Evern after all of this and what he's put me thruogh i have to say that i still love him. I admit that I still look at his Facebook though =(. But im trying not to!!! I cried a couple times today thinking of him and the times we had and how he could all of a sudden just drop me so quickly and get over it. It hurts even more knowing that im the only one who's hurting, not him. I keep wondering to myself why? why did he do this? did he ever really love me? what did i do to deserve this? =*(

Anyhow, I did my best not to contact him in anyway today.

I will keep posting everyday and see if i have any progress with feeling better. I HOPE SO!

Thanks for listening!!
xoxo

[Unca]

NC Challenge - Day 4 a.m.
Mood:- Pensive

Okay, feeling much the same as yesterday, even after the contact with her last night. I'm still looking at my phone wondering when I will get a txt but I think thats just habit more than anything!

I am still thinking about her, ALOT, but it's not affecting me in the same way that it had been last week.

But I'll wait and see what I'm like tonight. My parents are back from Florida today and want to see me. They flew out the day before we split up...so I can tell there will be hugs and tears tonight although I havent actually cried since the night we broke up (A sign that I am stronger this time than i was 2 years ago maybe?).

So I'll hopefully post up again later tonight once I am home!

[Unca]

NC Challenge - Day 4 p.m.
Mood:- Scared then Relaxed

Wow...what a change in a matter of hours! From being so calm, to being so uptight and nervous and wanting to contact her. I was actually close to tears there for the first time since the night we broke up.

I think I passed her tonight in another guys car, whilst I was on my way to my parents. I dont know if it even was her as all i got was a glance, but my spidey senses started tingling as they do when my wife is close by lol! So that put me on edge straight way. I then had to regale the whole story to my mum and dad so that put her well into my head...and I couldnt sit at peace the whole time i was there because talking about her just made me want to see her.

But I have came home, and said to myself that even if it was her. Even if she was out with friends on Saturday, even if she hasnt contacted me today again...there is nothing I can do about it. We arent together any more. She doesnt regard us as being together so why should I? As much as that hurts, and as much as I miss her, I cant spend the rest of my life wondering what she is doing or who she is with.

I just need to stay strong and see what tomorrow brings.