Saw the ex!

[myfavoriteword]

I my ex walking out of a building near my house today. Well, i first saw his car and was like F**K i need to walk as fast as i can so i don't see him. but sure enough he walked out of this building and i had no choice but to stop and say hi. the conversation lasted about 15 seconds - just how are you, im good.. well actually he said something like "i'm getting by, i'm doing okay" and i just said i'm good.. and then we said see ya later and walked away.

i feel very very weird about this. it felt like i was talking to a complete stranger when less than a month ago he was the closest person in the world to me. the thought of being in a bed together or just even hanging out seems so distant and strange to me because i feel like i don't even know this person at all anymore. the truth is that the last 2 times we broke up we also saw each other soon after and it was exactly the same way - very distant, cold and unfamiliar. but i am just really confused about the situation. i actually felt fine. i didn't want to cry and i didn't get really sad, but the fact that i felt okay made me feel kind of horrible too. does that make sense? it felt so final. like that's it, we'll always be strangers. But then again, i don't know what to think because this isn't the first time it's happened, where i felt completely disconnected from him because we were both putting up walls and then lo and behold we got back together and all of the coldness and distance disappeared and we were best friends again.

i'm just confused. i hate the fact that if i'm moving on and getting better, he is probably doing the same, and most likely feels MUCH better than i do. i AM thinking about myself and all that, but at the same time i can't help still thinking about how he must be doing and i don't like that he is probably 103049832 times more "moved on" than i am. i know this isn't a competition but i really do feel like he is just very confused about himself and life in general, and when he does finally figures himself out, I hope he comes back to me so I can finally say no to him. Horrible, I know, but that’s just how I feel now.

Not sure if that made sense but I had to get that out

[dazedandconfused]

Hey Nikki (is it??)

I know exactly how you feel. I haven't seen my ex for just over two weeks now. Although I ended up behind her at a red light just the other day - we live nearby in a small town so it was just coincidence. I'm not sure if she saw me or anything but the whole time I was like God don't let her see me and wave. So as a guy speaking here, trust me when I say that he was probably a little shaken up seeing you too. But I think you handled things perfectly - there is no need to be rude to each other - you'll just regret that in the end. I know I would.
I'm in a predicament in that my ex is best friends with my best friend's wife, so it's not like I can avoid her forever. Although I'm going to do my best to make sure I don't see her until I absolutely have to. I just have to make other plans. She's so worried about things being awkward between us when we finally do meet. Then again she's always been worried about how people perceive her even when she was getting falling down drunk. haha. Anyway, she wanted this breakup way more than I did. I mean I knew things weren't that great and she should have been treating me better. I guess I was trying to fix something that was broken when it was time to throw it away. I really have no idea why I'm having trouble letting her go right now. But its obvious that she mentally began moving on weeks / months ago. And even though she isn't dating anyone I feel as though she's way ahead of me in that department. And I agree its not a competition but somehow it still feels like one. I don't know if she'll come back to me at any point even if she gets her act squared away. I hope she does because somewhere in there is the girl I once loved. I'll have to judge her by her actions at that point if it ever comes. Right now, I'm thinking it won't but you never know. Some day's i feel as though she loved me while others I'm not sure.
But do the world a favor though and don't let your experiece with your boyfriend turn you into something you shouldn't be. Don't become jaded or anything. You're young, beautiful and your whole life is ahead of you. I wish I was that young again. So embrace this as an opportunity. You've been set free. Be open to love and be willing to accept it when it's given to you. It will come to you again. Trust me on that one!

[bewanchuk]

hey,

I think your doing great. And that one quote I liked the best from your writing is even if he came back to me I'd say "no" I loved so much. DO NOT worry about anythign which he does. You need this time for youself, to recollect your emtions, your thoughts, and most importantly your dreams. Don't worry at all about what just happened, just take it for what it was (just a glimpse of your ex and nothing more). You can easily do it, and I advise more than anything to keep up the NC. You deserve someone that is there for you no matter what, and in the mean time the one person who can fillt hat role is yourself. Continue being good to yourself no matter what, and always remember YOU come first. Do not worry at all about what your ex decides to do, and just focus on yourself. You can easily do this no doubt

[thirdeyevest]

If you really want to move on and get some closure I think the best thing to do would be to just accept things for what they are. He is going to move on but guess what? So are you! As bad a you feel and as much as this sucks it will happen. Who knows, maybe this will be the best thing to ever happen to you. If things were meant to be well, then they would be. So pick yourself back up, dust yourself off and put on a smile.
There is someone out there who is just waiting for ONE chance with you and I am sure he will make the best of it. You cant be holding on to what if's or he may just pass you by. So you need to re-focus on you. Forget about the ex because he is infact just that, an "ex". Your a cool kid and if I am correct, according to rule 36a in the book for Cool Kids that "to worry about an ex's feelings post breakup is a no go"....dont believe me? google that sh*t...(ok, ok you got me I made it up) Regardless though your gonna be fine girly!

[myfavoriteword]

hahahahaha. i need to buy this book of Cool Kids. and i am trying to refocus everything on me but it's hard you know...

[OhManINeedCoffee]

Josh, maybe you should make a list of "Cool Kids" rules to go along with your Man Rules.

[thirdeyevest]

I know Nikki but ya gotta rough it out and this dude has faith in you!..and my "Cool Kid" book is a work in progress

[DanY2J]

Continuing on this theme of seeing Ex's, i saw mine today for the first time since June, i was meeting someone who i used to work with for a drink (the ex and i used to work together) and out she walks of the office and looks at me and carrys on walking without saying a word.

Nice!

[thatdoggirl]

The other day I was driving to my mom's and my ex must have been driving to school and we both ended up comng from a fork in the road and were near each other on the same road. Luckily he didn't see me.

Yesterday my bf was picking me up from work at my school and my ex works as a security guard there in a different building. So he was just pulling out from picking up a key as my bf was waiting outside to pick me up so he saw my ex too. Just the coincidences of living in the same city and him working my school.

[myfavoriteword]

we're all on some kind of a weird seeing our exes streak.....who's going to be next?

[Dan72]

Well I clocked Jennifer Aniston the other day, luckily she didn't see me. Then, as I went to purchase a CD, who was at the counter but Angelina Jolie! I completely blanked her because she was a complete b!tch after our breakup. I walked out of the store to literally bump into Jessica Alba, I smiled and said hi since she's always been very graceful about the fact I left her because, quite frankly, she was just TOO ugly.

Ex's! Geez, you'd think they should get over themselves and stop appearing!:-o)

[OhManINeedCoffee]

LOL, Dan!

Everybody's been just ex-o-rama lately!

Sometimes I'm glad I don't live anywhere near my ex - it's impossible for us to run into each other!

[LizardKing]

Havent seen my x in about a month. And she lives right down the street!! But im pretty sure i just jinxed myself And that fact that I have a wedding on saturday night that we will both be attending.