Stupid Facebook makes me feel bad.

[Bobbe]

By accident I saw pictures of my ex at a party. She looked really happy and enjoying her self. The moment I saw her picture, it was like someone hit me in the stomach. Damn, such a bad feeling. The pictures weren't tagged.

And I know this is nothing to worry about. She's just having fun with her friends, off course she's happy. When I'm with my friends, I don't constantly think about my ex, I'm happy too then. It doesn't mean she's already forgotten me..
I know all of this yet I still feel bad.

Why?? Why can't my stupid heart listen to my logical brain. Maybe I was subconsciously expecting her to sit in her room, doing nothing but thinking about me?

I want this over with, I don't want this feeling anymore. I've had enough of it. Dammit. I want to heal, I want to get over her. She can go to hell for all I care (I don't mean this but it feels good typing)

AND I WANT TO PARTY, JUST LIKE HER, BUT I CAN'T BECAUSE I HAVE TO SLEEP EARLY.
Stupid insomnia This sucks so hard. I'm not a party person but I really need a party to unwind. Yet I can't till I'm cured

This really grinds my gears.


Edit:

I'm feeling better already, still a tad anxious.
I can't wait for the day I can look at those pictures and don't feel anything.
Had I seen this 2 weeks ago, I would have felt bad the whole day.
I'm making progress

[bewanchuk]

Hey,

I go through he same thing day in day out with my ex. When I was working in the summer I would check my ex's facebook page non-stop. The simplest update or change in picture would always tingle with my heart and get me in that funny feeling so to speak. One day in july I decided to stop screwing around and wasting my time with her facebook that I deleted the whole application off my iphone and did not check ever on facebook. The times I do check, it always breaks down all the healing and for my own sake my SANITY. There's that saying, when you play with fire your going to be burnt. As said I can relate completly, by always checking the facebook or just seeing the updates one day an update or status could pop out of no-where and really break you down. My advice is to not check her facebook at all, and rather just worry about yourself and continue to have fun with your friends.


As 110% of the forum would say, no contact is always the best. When you do nothing at all, nothing will ever go wrong.

Good Luck with everything, and FACEBOOK is the devil!

[Bobbe]

Well, it wasn't on her account. They weren't tagged. It was a total accident.
She only comes on facebook to add new people and that's it..
But your right, I'm going to avoid the devil from now on :p

[Dan72]

Hey Bobbe,

In these situations, Facebook is as you say, of the devil. If you're serious about healing, you need to be serious about NOT looking. I understand this was an accident, but let this lesson stop you before it happens again. If you don't want to remove/deativate the app, remove her as a friend and even from your email contacts list so that she doesn't pop up as 'someone you may know' or similar. I remember not even wanting to see her Facebook profile pic incase it featured another! There is a way you can stop Facebook telling you about certain people in your status feed. (Let me know if you'd like to know how and I'll tell you). You could do that with any mutual friends if you need to. As long as you can stop yourself physically clicking to look, that should work, and worked for me. I got to a point where all I was doing was driving that knife deeper into my heart by looking. After all, what were the options?

1) I'd see nothing at all so make up my own conclusions.
2) I'd see something that means nothing but decide it meant something.
3) I'd see something telling, but not fact but convince myself of the worst.
4) I'd see something blatant and want to crawl away and die.

Obviously, none of those will help you heal. All 4 happened to me on numerous occasions, and after 4) happened to me I decided enough was enough. After all, what was I actually looking for? The only thing I'd be happy with was if her status update said "Lorna misses Dan and thinks she made the biggest mistake of her life" or similar lol. Or if she responded to someone on her wall professing her love for me. Uhmm, wasn't gonna happen, right? So what the hell was I doing?! Initially it was hard not to look, but once I got serious about healing, I got serious about these things.