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01-01-2009, 10:00 PM
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| Senior Member   Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: Silicon Valley
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|  Sorry I haven't been around ........ Hey everyone, I'm sorry I haven't been around much. The last you all heard, my ex had contacted me and I had decided to meet him for dinner. This was all a couple of weeks ago. During that time, we started to chat again and had even seen each other a few times ..... this past Monday was our most recent get together. I have also been seeing a couple of other guys - both are very nice and have been good for me in terms of occupying my mind and showing me what it's like when someone really likes you (as in they call all the time and ask me out and actually want to spend time with me). I've not been around much because I've really just tried to sort through all of this on my own. While it's been "nice" to have my ex back in my life, it's also shown me what I want and what I deserve ..... and they are things that he wasn't giving me. That said, there was a certain comfort and familiarity with him that I just don't have with the other guys. Yesterday (New Years Eve) was my birthday and so my ex and I had plans to get together tonight just to hang out. I ended up cancelling on him this morning because he really hurt my feelings. How did he hurt my feelings? Well, yesterday came and went and he didn't even bother to call me to say Happy Birthday. When we spoke on Tuesday evening he said he wasn't feeling well, but even if he still felt ill on Wednesday, surely he could have called. Or emailed. Or texted. I saw him online a couple of times throughout the day so to me, if he's well enough to log into email (which automatically logs him into gchat), then surely he's well enough to send me a "Happy Birthday" email. But he didn't. And it really, really hurt my feelings. I heard from everyone under the sun yesterday, but him and deep down, he was probably the one person I wanted to hear from the most. I mean, if you care about someone, you're going to wish them a happy birthday even if you're sick, right? It shouldn't matter if we were going to see each other today. My birthday was YESTERDAY, not today. So I wrote him an email this morning telling him that I was upset that I did not hear from him and I no longer felt like getting together that evening (tonight). He never bothered to respond to that email either. I'm thinking of going back into my own kind of NC. Pulling him back into my life, even if it were only for a few weeks, was a horrible idea. I deserve so much more than what he's EVER given me. I'm back everyone. I'm so sorry that I've not been around to help you through this challenging holiday time. I hope everyone is well and I look forward to catching up with my old friends and making some new ones! P.S. Dave ..... my posting capabilities obviously work now! Yay!
__________________ "Some love stories aren't epic novels, some are short stories. But, that doesn't make them any less filled with love." ~ Carrie Bradshaw "Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end." ~ Semisonic | ||||||||||||||||||||
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01-01-2009, 10:07 PM
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| Junior Member  Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: Florida
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| Hey Jen! First of all HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! and Happy New Year!! I'm really sorry that he hurt you again. I think it's great you have these other guys in your life. It sounds like they really like you. Hopefully they can give you what your ex couldn't and treat you the way you deserve to be!! -Joe
__________________ I fought the law and the law won. | ||||||||||||||||||||
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01-01-2009, 10:17 PM
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| Happy Birthday Jen!! I am sorry your ex pulled that crap, especially on your birthday. However, look at the bright side...a. you now have another reason to tell yourself why you and your ex shouldn't be together and b. you were strong and smart enough to stand up to his childish behavior. Koodos to you, that takes guts girl!! Peace | ||||||||||||||||||||
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01-01-2009, 10:36 PM
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| Senior Member  Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: Suriname, (S.A.)
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| Hey Jen, Great to have you back. really missed you! I wasn't really 100% sure it was your birthday the 31th and I did ask about it on the chat box but now you confirmed it So HAPPY (BELATED) BIRTHDAY Jen!!  Very sorry to hear it didn't work out between you and your ex, but I think you made the right decision. If he starts this behavior now already you can see what it will become later. I agree with peace, that takes guts. Wish you a Happy New year. May this year go much better for you. | ||||||||||||||||||||
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01-01-2009, 11:00 PM
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| HAPPPPY DAY AFTER BIRTHDAY~~!!! -SuperDave71
__________________ "We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, therefore, is not an act but a habit." -Aristotle | ||||||||||||||||||||
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01-02-2009, 03:37 AM
| #6 (permalink) | ||||||||||||||||||||
| Freshman Member  Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: N.S.W Australia
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| Happy (belated) Birthday Jen, Were you hoping to get back together?That sucks if you were....Maybe you will get that closure that he's not for you Jen.You're not settling and know what your needs are,that can only be a good thing for you. Steve | ||||||||||||||||||||
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01-02-2009, 03:50 AM
| #7 (permalink) | ||||||||||||||||||||
| Senior Member Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: Silicon Valley
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| No, I wasn't hoping for us to get back together. I knew we wouldn't. Truthfully, I don't know what I was expecting. I think I saw him the handful of times I did because he was familiar and comfortable. It was easy .... and I'm not going to lie .... fun. I still have feelings for him, but realized after our first dinner that he wasn't the one for me. I enjoy being around him, but I need more than that. He's not changed one bit. I think what finally pushed me over the edge was the fact that he completely ignored the fact that it was my birthday yesterday and still has yet to respond to my email. If I do end up ever hearing from him again, I'm sure he'll tell me that he was either ill or he just figured since he was seeing me on Thursday night that he didn't see the need to call me on Wednesday. Either of those answers receive a thumbs down in my book so he loses no matter what. The one thing I've learned through all of this is that my life is actually less stressful without him in it.
__________________ "Some love stories aren't epic novels, some are short stories. But, that doesn't make them any less filled with love." ~ Carrie Bradshaw "Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end." ~ Semisonic | ||||||||||||||||||||
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01-02-2009, 03:52 AM
| #8 (permalink) | ||||||||||||||||||||
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| P.S. Thanks for the birthday wishes! Turns out that 39 isn't so bad afterall. 
__________________ "Some love stories aren't epic novels, some are short stories. But, that doesn't make them any less filled with love." ~ Carrie Bradshaw "Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end." ~ Semisonic | ||||||||||||||||||||
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01-02-2009, 07:01 AM
| #9 (permalink) | ||||||||||||||||||||
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| Yeh in my book there would'nt be any excuse to not wish someone i cared deeply about,happy b'day....except a medical emergency!Closure comes in all forms Jen,maybe not how we expect it but with time it comes.... Wow i thought you were about 30 and that's no lame compilment,well maybe it is Ha Ha. Steve | ||||||||||||||||||||
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01-02-2009, 07:29 AM
| #10 (permalink) | ||||||||||||||||||||
| Gold Member  Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: Ohio
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| Jen- You know this dude here is glad to have you back. I must say sometimes it takes us touching the stove when its hot to really get the picture, even when we know we are gonna' get burnt. I have done it too so dont think you are the only one. Im glad you are starting to see that you are worth so much more than what this guy deserves. You are going to be just fine I know you will! As for your birthday, again I hope it was happy  Welcome back and forget about the EX he will see soon enough and the best part about that is...You wont be around -Josh
__________________ "let go of the one you HAD so you can dream of the one you'll GET" | ||||||||||||||||||||
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