Learning Not to become "Plan B" - SuperDave71

[SuperDave71]

The scene is set months after a break. No contact has been initiated on both sides and the phone has been silent for months. "I wonder if they miss me. I wonder if they still think of me. I miss them so much but I don't miss the arguing" you tend to tell yourself. You tend to over compensate the truth and tell yourself "I am better of without them anyway" sadly your heart is hurting as your brain tries to understand why.

Weeks go by and you bump into an old friend that knew your ex. You stop and exchange pleasantries and you make it an effort not to mention "their" name. You are running late for a meeting and you have to cut it short but you do wave goodbye, smile and thank them for stopping to say hello.

Two days later, your phone vibrates as you are brushing your teeth to meet friends out for drinks. You pick it up and out of the blue, it reads "Hello ..remember me?" You eyes begin to get bigger as your heart speeds up.

"What do I do?..Should I respond?" Before you know it you hastily reply. The exchange is a plesant one yet you ask your self why? "I thought they were dating ?"

One thing leads to another and BAM...before you know it you are sitting in a local bar fixing your hair like mad and constantly watching the door. You begin to sweat out of sheer nervousness and you can't stop figiting with a bar napkin that has been place under your first drink.

The door opens and for the first time in 8 months, your ex is standing in front of you scanning the room and locking eyes with you only to give a big smile.
"Hey, how's it going?".."Good Good...and you?" "Really good, thanks for asking? "You look like you have lost weight?" they say. "I have. I have been trying to get back into shape for a while and I had pleanty of time to get that going."

Hours go by. The early evening has turned into night and you must say goodnight.
"I really appreciate you meeting me out." "Yeah, you to", they say. "It's great seeing you again." You both exchange a quick hug. You have to tell yourself not to hold on to tight because that would only give you away. I pray they can't feel my heart pounding.

Fast forward 3 days. The silly text messages and banter are coming at regular intervals during the day. Emails are exchanged and even your "nickname" they called you resurfaces. The smile that was once lost begins to emerge as hope opens the door to your heart and peeks out just to see what is going on outside.

You meet for another date and then another. Four dates later, "it" happens. You find yourself getting dressed at 6:30am to start getting ready for work. On your way home, you reflect on what happened and the way ity made you feel. The radio is filled with songs you can FINALLY relate to again. You start to sing alittle as you drive. Nothing is going to stop you now

or is it...

You text and wait. You email and wait. Nothing. "They must be busy". You wait and wait until you patience turns to worry. "They will call..I know they will. Wow, what an amazing night! I wonder what they are thinking right now?" You tend to smile as you daydream of what once was.

The evening at home turns dark. "Where are they and why haven't they called?"

Fast forward 4 days...

Nothing. Not a text, not an email, not a phone call. Your smile has been replaced with anger and you feel as used as the condom that was discarded after your night of "passion".

Two weeks later, you receive a phone call from a good friend of yours. You have been holding this a secret for so long that you gush and tell your friend everything. You finally start to cry scream out loud "WHY!!?!...WHY DID THEY DO THIS TO ME?"....

"Are you ok?...Do you want me to come over?" your friend asks. "I may know why they did this?"....."WHAT!?" you say out loud. "COME OVER!!!"

An hour later your friend is sitting beside you and hands you the local newspaper pointing to the "Engagement" section.

"I had no idea you saw them...let alone ANYTHING happen between you...they were married yesterday."

Your heart sinks and depression comes knocking where hope used to live.

-SuperDave71