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Thread: Cityboy's thread women behaviour prompted me to ask you all what you think!

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    Question Cityboy's thread women behaviour prompted me to ask you all what you think!

    Someone expressed to me that they were told by their friend that it was her fault men thought she was interested in them and that she shouldn't make small talk, smile or be friendly to men; for instance while in a shop to a shop assistant.

    [COLOR="Navy"]She was duly instructed by this friend "
    "Believe nothing, no matter where you read it, or who said it, no matter if I have said it, unless it agrees with your own reason and your own common sense." Buddha

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    I don't think people should change the way they behave out of fear or out of what someone else would think of you. So what if they are interested in you and you're not. It's bound to happen no matter what you say or do. Attraction isn't something someone chooses. Doesn't mean that you have to like them the same way back and it certainly isn't your fault, if they have a problem with you not liking them that is their problem and they'll have to learn to accept that.

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    Default Thanks Jess

    Cheers my dear. I'm interested to see what people say on this one... I appreciate your input!
    "Believe nothing, no matter where you read it, or who said it, no matter if I have said it, unless it agrees with your own reason and your own common sense." Buddha

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    Very interesting topic.

    Personally, I would find it very difficult to remember not to be friendly just in case it may be taken the wrong way lol. It would be extremely exhausting to keep tabs on how you were behaving and around what people. Even though I am more reserved around people I do not know, I am still friendly.

    In my opinion, even though I am sure it is true of some shop assistants not wanting to be chatty, I expect that the majority would probably welcome it as a bright addition to their day I always remember the friendly ones, and wonder what the hell the miserable ones are doing in that job if they are so miserable lol.

    I agree with Jess in that noone should have to worry about being themselves just incase someone may take it the wrong way. If they do, surely it's their choice to take it that way,...doesn't make it accurate. I mentioned in a previous post that my friendly behaviour has often been taken the wrong way, however, that's me, and I'd rather be known as the guy who is friendly with everyone than the miserable sod who isn't approachable lol. I've had conversations with friends who tell me that women have asked them (as my friend), if they think I like them because I was really nice to them etc. The response was 'Dan is just friendly to everyone, I wouldn't take it to mean anything more'. I think I like that

    I don't think it's sexiest to be the way that person is with men in shops, however, it would probably give off some very standoffish vibes, and give that person the wrong impression of them,...and who knows whether they meet that person again at some point. First impressions last, and what's (really) the harm in being friendly?

    It sounds like she is already 'adjusting her personality' to do this in the first place if she is generally a friendly person. In my opinion, it doesn't appear a healthy way to be. However, if she is happy doing that then it is her decision I guess.

    I am a HUGE believer in karma, and although she probably isn't spreading bad karma by behaving this way, she isn't spreading good karma either,.... she could make some sad guys day with a smile or a friendly greeting, no harm and loads of good karma flowing into her karma bank account.
    -Peace
    Dan

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    Default Thank you Dan

    That's 2 for 2 so far, advocating that type of path, I'm looking forward to see what else is said...

    Thanks again Dan, I appreciate your view.

    All the best

    Annita
    "Believe nothing, no matter where you read it, or who said it, no matter if I have said it, unless it agrees with your own reason and your own common sense." Buddha

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