Thanks for this post. I found it extremely interestng. I do have a few questions and would like some feedback.
I have problems telling my bf where I'm going, i.e. dinner with some friends (females) because I fear he will get mad, so I don't tell him. I sometimes think I give him no credit and I should be up front and tell him, but for some reason I find easier not to tell him. In the past, he would tell me that the weekends were his and that I shouldn't make any plans without him. And, of course I would get extremely depressed about it, because my weekends would consist of watching tv or having sex. When we broke up, he blamed me for everything, he told me that I treated him badly and that I used him, he called me names like gold digger, user, etc. And, I got to a point where I started believing it so now that we've reconciled, I make sure I pay for the majority of our entertainment. And, falling back into the trap of doing nothing but watching tv. I haven't had any physical contact with him because I just don't think we're connected enough to go to that level and I don't want to complicate things.
My question is, I'm not sure if I'm being emotionally abused or not. Sometimes I think perhaps I am, then I think maybe I am the abuser (which he has accused me of on numerous occasions) . So, with this quick and general e-mail, I would like your thoughts. Again, sometimes, I think he fits the pattern of an emotional abuser then I start thinking that I'm just making things up in my head because something about our relationship doesn't feel right. Comments?