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Hi, Brasidas and welcome to the forum.
First off, let me say that I'm sorry you're going through this situation - this is a difficult scenario, to say the least, and it's a bit tricky to figure out, "Where do I go from here?"
Second of all, while I know you're hurting, please understand that you are NOT terrible at all. You can treat someone with love and affection and respect...and sometimes the other person still goes astray, no matter what you do. This is not a reflection on you or your ability to make someone happy...from my perspective it looks like she has some serious things she needs to work out for herself, and things you two would need to work out together. At first glance, a lot of her behavior suggests that she's yearning for that "wild and crazy single life" again, but that's only my initial take. A lot of your questions are only questions that she can answer, but if you don't mind, I'd like to ask you a few things just to get a better sense of what you're going through.
What first concerned me was the drinking. You said she is now drinking five times a week and going out three or four times a month - when she drinks and doesn't go out, is it always to excess?
You have a two-year-old together. You've shared with us how involved you are in taking care of him...has she been as involved since she's started drinking, or does she seem more "detached" from home/family life? Detached from you?
Have there been a lot of stresses in her life lately? In your life? Things that have been affecting both of you?
I know all too well that sick feeling in your stomach when you know something's not right in your relationship - we all do here. We are here to help you in any way we can.
"Are tangerines really just oranges that didn't want it enough?" - Random Greeting Card