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Hey there, StarryEyedSister, and welcome to our forum.
I've been in your place as far as resentment goes (albeit a completely different situation). Even when I was out of the relationship and had moved on and was happy, I'd still find myself getting really angry about the past. Did you ever allow yourself to feel this resentment before, or have you been working so hard to leave it all behind you that you haven't really had a chance to truly feel angry about the situation? If it's the latter, then it sounds like it's all catching up to you - perhaps the upcoming closure you're looking forward to you has made you reflect a little, and dragged these emotions up with it. Have you been able to vent these feelings before at all? Or is this the first time they've really cropped up?
If you haven't really given yourself the time to feel these things before, then don't worry - you had to feel this at some point. Given what it sounds like you've been through, I can't blame you. I think it's great that you're determined not to let your little one hear you say negative things about her father - so many parents wouldn't have such consideration and love for their children to do so. But at the same time, you still need to let yourself be angry, if you haven't already, though you certainly don't have to be angry in front of her. But you DO need to get those feelings out of you somehow so that they don't just sit there and rot. Venting in a journal was probably the most helpful and "cleansing" thing that I did, and I always try to recommend that to people who are neck-high in feelings and have no idea what to do with all of them. And, of course, you're always welcome to vent to us here on the forum without judgment.
And, I agree with SuperDave - I think a lot of the resentment we feel toward someone who's hurt us (repeatedly) is greatly mixed in with how angry we are with ourselves for allowing it to happen to us for so long. I am personally notorious for this. But at the same time, using a journal allows you not only to get these thoughts and feelings out of your system, but the act of putting it in writing forces you to work them out logically.
Your ex is now engaged again and your divorce is about to be finalized...to me, this upsurge of resentment doesn't really seem "out of the blue." While you have kept busy and productive and found love again with someone (I am very happy for you, by the way), these are still major changes, and with any major change comes upheaval of some kind, even if it's only temporary. Always when you give yourself closure on something, some residual feelings are going to come to the surface when you do so. This is perfectly okay, and very normal. My advice is to identify all of it (the good, the bad, and the ugly), work it out until it all makes sense, get it out of yourself, and put it away when you're finished. You have to go through it before you're completely free from it, you know?
Post here any time you feel you need to - we are always here to help!
"Are tangerines really just oranges that didn't want it enough?" - Random Greeting Card