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Hello, Abrakedabra, and welcome to the forum.
I think you need to listen to your ex's friend: stop pushing her so much because you're pushing her away. It sounds as though she's made up her mind, and that she's been very clear with you - several times - that she stands by her decision to break up. Believe me, I know how painful it is to have someone you loved leave you, but at the same time, do you love her enough to give her the space and freedom that she clearly wants?
You seem VERY fixated on her, what she's doing, who she's with, etc. right now. It's natural to feel that way, but think about it this way: what control do you have over her? Her feelings? Her thoughts? Her actions? None. That lack of control is usually what makes us panic so much. But instead of focusing on this, focus on what you CAN control: you. I'm glad you're seeking help for the problems you've been suffering in the past few years, but you don't seem as focused on getting a handle on them as much as you're focused on your ex. Don't do this to yourself - it's going to keep you in that rut.
And I agree with Romi - leave Facebook alone! It's tempting, I know, but it seems like every time you see something from her on there, or from mutual friends, it sets you back. Delete her if you have to, or if you have too many mutual friends, stay off of Facebook until you get yourself together. Badgering her about the meanings behind her posts on Facebook is not a healthy or a mature way to deal with this (it is only Facebook, after all).
If she is glad to be on her own, then let her be on her own. Remember: If you don't do anything, then you can't screw anything up.
"Are tangerines really just oranges that didn't want it enough?" - Random Greeting Card