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Thread: I need to protect myself

  1. #76
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    Hello chaps. Thought I'd check back in and let you know how I am doing (and it's nice that people are asking!) Well the change in me is miraculous. It's not just a case of getting over the breakup, it's things I rationalised for YEARS, ever since being seriously ill have just disappeared. So many things that I thought that I had become having been sick are no longer there. I'm no longer angry, have a million times more energy, more focused at work, I honestly can't quite believe it. It's like two different people.

    It's still rather frustrating that it was a breakup that made me seek help, and it hurts that I pushed someway away I loved and she won't listen but I am so glad it happened. If she can not see past the fact that I was depressed then it's most definitely her loss. With hindsight ALL the issues she had with me were depression related. I rationalised it ALL because I had suffered a serious illness years ago and I didn't need to be the way I was at all. I wish I had sought help sooner as I have spent years being angry with the world and lethargic and anxious and it was all relatively (haha I make light of it now but I went through hell) easy to solve.

    The strangest thing is how blind to how I was, I was. I guess that's what depression does to you. I've spent far too much time after being sick worrying about it, and not mentally dealing with it. I needed what happened to in effect restart my brain. I can't EVER see myself being in the state I was for years as I now realise I don't need to be like I was. As I say I wish I hadn't put her through it, and I wish I'd sort help earlier as we'd still be together but boy am I back to who I was years ago.

    Thanks so much for all your help and advice over the last few months you all helped me through a very rough time and I wish I could buy you all a drink.

    Cheers

    EDIT: The committment thing, I now see while I did want some time alone, having never lived alone, I let it go on far too long, because I didn't want anyone even the girl I loved to mess up my routine. I got stuck in a very strange headspace for a long time and it's very strange (but bloody enjoyable) to be out of it. So many of the things I said to her straight after we split seem so vacuous and if not desperate but half hearted. It's literally the last 2 months where I have processed all of my previous health issues and now see the real reason for a lot of how I was. She can choose to believe it all or not, or even if she does understand and it doesn't change anything then I can't do anything more.

    In all honesty, this is far more than getting over a breakup this is sorting out stuff that I thought I would always be stuck with after being sick and wow, what a difference.

  2. #77
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    Ah such a great post to read Thank you for letting us know how you're doing, it's very heart warming stuff to hear.

    I am a great believer in everything happening for a reason, even if sometimes that reason takes time to come to fruition. I never believed I would be grateful for my break up either, but now I am beyond grateful because, like you, it taught me sooooo many things I NEEDED to learn. Partly about relationships, but mainly about myself.

    Big man-hugs to you mate!
    -Peace
    Dan

  3. #78
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    Hello,

    Me again. Still doing super. Done my flat up. Getting glowing reviews at work. Got a couple of dates lined up with different women once I shift a dodgy chest and stop working long hours like a nutter.

    All in all doing amazingly well. Still miss her, and annoyed that she has never seen me at my best, but I had far more reason to be in the state I was in and if she can't give me the benefit of the doubt then it's too bad.

    Again cheers for all your advice, and have a great Christmas

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    Dear Abrakebabra,

    Great to hear you are going strong. What are your future plans? Same company, promotion? Moving jobs? Have you got family near you? Are you going home for Xmas/New Year? What long term fun goals have you got (want to learn to cook/dance/snowboard!)? What about your flat are you thinking of moving? I would like to hear more about the bright future you have planned!

    All the best,

    Annita
    "Believe nothing, no matter where you read it, or who said it, no matter if I have said it, unless it agrees with your own reason and your own common sense." Buddha

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    Hello all,

    Hope everyone is well. Just reading through my old posts on this here forum, and just wanted to pop in and say hola and say I'm doing proper fine again. Still not with anyone, had a few short term things but very happy.

    Got lots of plans for future. Want to start a course to eventually end up starting my own business and move out of London to someone more relaxed.

    I hope everyone's doing well, and my heartfelt thanks for all help at the time, reading it back seems very scary now that I was in state I was in.

    Be well people

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    Good to hear from you friend. Thank you for coming back & updating us. I and rest of TLL team wish you all the best with the future, stay in touch there are people on the board that will benefit from your advice and of course we hope to be there for any future questions you might have.

    All the best,

    Annita
    "Believe nothing, no matter where you read it, or who said it, no matter if I have said it, unless it agrees with your own reason and your own common sense." Buddha

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    Hey there!

    Thanks for stopping by to let us know how you're doing! I'm glad you're doing well and feeling happy. Best of luck in achieving your goals and don't be a stranger.

    Kelley
    "Are tangerines really just oranges that didn't want it enough?" - Random Greeting Card

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