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Thread: Feelings for someone else.

  1. #1
    meow
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    Question Feelings for someone else.

    This is my first post on this site, and this situation has been bothering me so much that I felt the need to create an account to seek advice.
    I have been in my current relationship for about 2 years, and am very happy overall with it.

    I have never, in any of my relationships, felt the desire to cheat; I very rarely harbor romantic feelings for anyone, and when I do find myself in a relationship my feelings last several years at least. My boyfriend has always believed in 'sharing the love' and telling me how he wants to be my partner, but doesn't have a 'selfish' love for me. That if our other friends wanted to share the kind of intimacy he has towards me, that he would want to do that with them.

    He SAYS this and I think wants to strongly believe it, but just doesn't. He doesn't feel that way. I on the other hand am very intimate with my friends. I've of course never done anything sexual with them, but am very fond of holding hands, cuddling, etc. When we started this relationship that's something I had to let go, because he has some insecurity and jealousy issues. I figured over time that they would get better, but they barely have. And so recently I've been becoming close with one of my (male) friends that I met at work. The feelings are somewhere in between romance and friendship, which I think is why I'm struggling so much with it.

    I have the desire to be close to him. I miss him when he's gone. As far as physically, I have the desire to hold hands, or maybe even kiss, but not to be in a relationship or have sex with him. For me that's always been a normal thing. I've always had very open friends that way. And while my boyfriends says that that's what he wants for us, to be open, I know that he's lose his mind if I tried talking to him about it.

    I really don't know how to handle the situation, and I don't know if anyone has experienced anything similar, but I'd really love someone else s P.O.V. right now.

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    Dear Meow,

    What are you really asking? You have chosen to be in a relationship that is closed. You know how you would hurt your partner if you acted on your feelings. What do you think is the right thing to do? What can you do? What are your choices here? I look forward to hearing your answers.

    All the best,

    Annita
    "Believe nothing, no matter where you read it, or who said it, no matter if I have said it, unless it agrees with your own reason and your own common sense." Buddha

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