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Thread: The Total Silent treatment....

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    Hauntedlady
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    Default The Total Silent treatment....

    I'm Totally blown away by the silent treatment...My guy after 18 great cohabitating months tells me his feeling have changed...Then begins to break away emotionally by then sexually then he moves back to his own house with his ex wife of 8 years.....She is financially strapped till she graduates college in a few months...he is still part owner of the house...when he lived with me he paid half utilities....did work to balance the difference like installing a new floor etc.


    He is 56 his ex wife is 47....why would you want to live back with your ex wife...I know he is not financially strapped he earns 120,000 a year and is very frugal he was not generous with me but i understood his situation.....after living with me for 18 months many of which were very wonderful for both of us...we took care of each other. I Thought he was genuine in love with each other.... Great sex often ...and diverse.... then his feelings suddenly change as he put it....


    It was a very family time graduation of youngest son college visits all with the ex... then move in to college...also the son had a surgry on his shoulder... Also my dog bit his older son 22 after many warnings...he came in the house to help his younger brother get ready for graduation... then the dog bit him I Stopped It it was no terrible mauling or any thing,.... so three months of family stuff... Did He go because of not loving me or financial...to help his family even his ex... is it common for divorced people to go back into this living situation.... He lived at my house and I allowed it because his ex lived at his..or theirs... but I saw divorce papers... then he hasn't spoken to me for the last 100 days...no contact at all I consider this emotional abuse....how can he act like we never happened I want to smack his face... and call him a coward....

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    Haunted,

    Hello and welcome. I am sorry for your current situation but no one knows what your ex is/was thinking. I know this is a tough situation because no one wants to feel replaced in general, let alone with his ex wife. I think what might be the toughest part of this for you is acceptance of the very thing you cannot change. I am not claiming this is a answer mind you but merely an observation.

    Sometimes its more difficult to make sense of something that really doesn't. I live by the code "Actions Speak Louder than Words". His actions right now are saying he doesn't want or intend to communicate with you for whatever reason. The more you vent here, the sooner you might understand that you have no control over his actions despite 18 months of good times. I am sorry he is giving you the silent treatment but in time I hope you can start to mend your broken heart.


    Take care,

    SuperDave71
    "We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, therefore, is not an act but a habit." -Aristotle

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    Hauntedlady
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    ....Yes...I agree actions speak louder than words...But Why do men choose to do the cowardly thing and choose not to acknowledge emotional issues... how convenient.... that a man could just turn away and act like nothing happened between you ....To accept what happened to you as the throw away partner.. seems easy ....rather than to question...acceptance seems cowardly...rather than to fight for understanding......confrontation of the situation... seems better than emotional cowardice.....yes ...I believe his actions are the actions of a coward... I Say look me in the eye...don't turn and pretend a relationship never happened ....what is the choice but to let time mend a broken heart when you are left with so much unsaid and unexplained....so much empty space between two people....I want to go to his house and smack his face... then Maybe he might allow himself to... feel something.... although it would still not be love...only physical pain.... not emotional....That part hurts to think that he doesn't even think of me I'd Rather if not love then at least he would know.... he had been hit .... by someone he'd hurt.......

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    Haunted,

    I understand your hurt. I really do.

    With the following statement:

    .To accept what happened to you as the throw away partner.. seems easy ....rather than to question...acceptance seems cowardly...rather than to fight for understanding......confrontation of the situation... seems better than emotional cowardice...yes ...I believe his actions are the actions of a coward... I Say look me in the eye...don't turn and pretend a relationship never happened ....what is the choice but to let time mend a broken heart when you are left with so much unsaid and unexplained.
    How many people that breakup actually have the privilege of getting all the honest answers they feel that they deserve? Why do you feel you are an exception? Please don't get me wrong, I am not trying to upset you but sometimes things are better "unsaid". I agree with you in that we all deserve answers, but sometimes those answers never come. I am sorry you are feeling the way you do but you are no exception to most of the members here that have gone through similar situations with their ex's. Keep posting. Get out all those negative and frustrating feelings. It helps the healing process and we are all here to listen.

    Take care my friend,


    SuperDave71
    "We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, therefore, is not an act but a habit." -Aristotle

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