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Interesting discussion point. I'd just like to say, language and definitions make or break arguments. I make a clear difference between "nice" and "good". I don't think "nice" is attractive. I think "good" is tremendously sexy and attractive.
Then we come to my initial statement about language, what is "nice", what is "good". My definitions are what shape my understanding of these two things and what I mean by them. To me "nice" is polite and "good" is genuine. To me "nice" is appearances yet "good" is real. I think you get the picture.
Generally IMHO if you are being polite (when someone is being an idiot) that is courteous and acceptable in societal terms. However if someone is being an idiot and you speak your mind, you may not have been polite, but you will have been real and (as long as you still did it without acting an idiot yourself) you also will have been good, since you said what you felt was needed (being true to yourself).
IME sometimes we all have to be "nice" i.e. customer service job! However when we are out and about with our friends and loved ones, I want a man to be good. I want to see him be true to himself, that means helping the lady with the buggy, that means asking the guy on the train, with the music blaring out of his phone, could he turn it down please we can't hear each other talk, thank you; that means treating others with respect and knowing who he is. To me a good guy may (with kindness/gentleness) challenge my view/offer an alternative, but won't be pedantic or invalidate my view/feelings in order to seem clever or superior. IMV a good guy may cry or be sensitive and show his emotions, but he'll know how to vocalise his fears/desires (so I don't have to mind read) and will try to deal with apparent conflict in a calm way without verbal abuse (that means, reflective listening, few interruptions, controlling himself and his emotions/responses).
Am I asking alot? Hell yes! I would be settling (as previously mentioned by others), if I did any less. I deserve an equal, I want a symbiotic relationship and I am willing to grow, change and address any behaviours/flaws in order to do it. But sure as heck, he better be willing to do so as well.
As Shania says "I need a man who knows, how the story goes, He's gotta be a heartbeatin' fine treatin', Breathtakin' earthquakin' kind; Any man of mine."
"Believe nothing, no matter where you read it, or who said it, no matter if I have said it, unless it agrees with your own reason and your own common sense." Buddha