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Thread: Just looking for some perspective

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    Default Just looking for some perspective

    Hello all, I'm a little over two months into the breakup and just would like some perspective on my situation and N.C. Lets see basic relationship details:

    Together for 2 years 2 months
    Each others first love and first long term relationship for both of us.
    Broke up one time around may 2010 for about 2 weeks cause she needed some space, even though were together most of that time and got back together stronger than before.

    Anyway, we broke up a little over 2 months ago, her descision, due to falling out of love aka not in love anymore. In hindsight I've realized I was rather needy and clingy during the last couple months and the relationship got stale. Not saying its all my fault but I was partially to blame for it. She didn't want to date for a while after we broke up, but in less than a month she was with another guy from her job. Now up until she started dating this guy I had been doing all the typical things to try and get her back which pushed her farther away. Her starting the new relationship was what finally made me realize what I was doing and I started LC/NIC. I think the longest we went in the next month without talking was 8 days.

    The reason I'm posting today is due to this last week. I met up with her and her best friend and we did some stuff around town and generally had a good time together. It had been exactly a month since I had seen her, and I thought I had been doing well on getting over her. Obviously I still had feelings and cared for her but I suppressed that well. The rest of this week she has been contacting and initiating contact all week more-so than we had in that whole month. Shes still with the new guy btw.

    Anyway I've been asking friends and family if I should keep up this friendly contact, or if I should attempt going NC again. I get varying opinions which makes me realize only I can decide whats best. Right now though my brain is so confused on what is best. So yea if anyone would like to leave some opinions that would be appreciated. I'm working to move on myself but I still have a glimmer of hope of wanting to be back with her. I know if it ever happens it will take time but... well i still hope it happens.

    Thanks for your time

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    Hi fanamir

    Sorry you are going through this right now , but welcome to the forum.

    I would say you need to ask yourself , if you carried on with this friendly contact , would you be ok with just being friends with her ? because while she's still with this other guy, that's all it will be , and that may never change. Only you can know if you are prepared for that possibility. If you aren't then I would say stick with the NC for a while.

    Be yourself. Everyone else is already taken. - Oscar Wilde

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