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Thread: opinions on this insane marriage?!!!PLZ REPLY

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    Default opinions on this insane marriage?!!!PLZ REPLY

    I m totally frustrated by these two.I am the first cousin of this man,i didn't mention it before but now its getting on my nerves I am sick of their lies and rubbish,whats their deal??
    they are so odd.
    Early last year he was seen standing continuously standing behind the another blonde girl's seat,fiddling with her hair,kissing her head,wrapping his arms around her chest,neck and is laughing and joking like crazy,whom he took out for dinner.
    This girl was also smaller than him in frame and younger.he was 30 then

    Then when he was 27 he met this black haired girl who was half his height and must have been around 20 at his work tour and became really platonic with her,like kissing her cheeks,head repeatedly,having lunch with her,talking to her

    Before that he was seen with skimpy dressed girls,two looked quite young,one looked older,all of them average height.later on one was kissing his cheeks and one was sitting on his lap while he showed his wedding ring to the camera!

    Last summer(June 11)he thrashed his close female friend/colleague(with whom he was friends since 2006-dated her but broke up,yet remained close) for her sex life on radio,how many men he knows she slept with,who she is in bed with while hes talking,trying to say that shes a that shes a **** indirectly,whom he was so close that he was caught on camera in the dark parking lot of his workplace,posing very intimately.hand on waist,head touching her head.I have seen him stare at her in a grumpy,jealous way as well.
    They acted in a documentary but the real life scenes were said to be boring,contrived and fake.they didn't talk at all except sat and stared at their daughter,kissing oddly,sometimes holding hands,sometimes just standing.he did drugs but she didn't stop

    ,when he overdosed on drugs and stopped breathing she called the ambulance.as she explained she wasn't even crying,no tears anything,just pretending it by pursuing her lips and stretching her lips.if she had such a significant impact on his life why is this relationship so cold???

    Why did he marry his wife when he loves girls significantly younger than him and that he had to cheat???
    He is very rich,and very famous and good looking.
    the wife is always happy.Shes always with her gfs going to parties,i mean with makeup plastered on her face,making odd and strange faces with some of drunken kind friends who look and are dressed like sluts.
    she posts pictures making strange faces,sitting on the bed and making strange faces with her friends,then wearing sunglasses,sitting in the stadium,taking her own pictures
    putting the pix on social networking sites,tweeting happily,going on luxury holidays with him)

    does she feel that her husband is such a difficult person to be with that no woman can put up with him(which has really happened) so he wont leave her and he doesn't leave her because he stays on road most of the time so he cant handle his beloved daughter alone??

    so if she had an impact on his life,if she did so much why does the guy cheat and why doesn't she care?!
    why does the guy need to prove that hes a family man on twitter???why is he so concerned with his female friend's sex life,who she slept with that he had to say this on on radio????
    why does he have to write happy birthday to her on twitter when he was with her at home???
    why did she shift away from him when she saw him approaching where she was standing???
    they met at some random bar,where he saw her,asked for her phone number and then she said if you can memorize then call,he called and started dating.

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    isabella,

    Let me ask you something. Do you live with your first cousin? It seems you are up in arms about your cousins behavior and understandably so but what is making you so upset if you can't do anything about your first cousin's issues? You are asking questions that you should be asking your cousin and/or his wife. We can only "best guess" the situation based on the information you gave us. We will be happy to assist you but I am unsure as to how we can help you with your cousin's current situation.


    Let us know ok?



    SuperDave71
    "We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, therefore, is not an act but a habit." -Aristotle

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    actually i just want opinions that's all,that what i think right or not,and if it is then i shall say something

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    Hi Isabella,

    I have learned over the years that it really does take all types to make the world go round!

    In terms of what you have described, I'll be completely honest - no-one can tell you if this marriage is 'right' or 'wrong'. Just as it's impossible to say whether someone is a 'good' or a 'bad' person. Here's why - your idea of what a 'good' marriage looks like may be completely different from mine. Everyone has differing opinions.

    Here's my opinion - personally, I wouldn't be happy if I were a part of the marriage you've described. Would I still be in that marriage if the situation didn't change? Honestly? I don't know. Because I'm not in your cousin's wife's shoes.

    Ultimately, there is a lot you're seeing, but equally, there's a lot you don't know. Here's another question - what if his wife has chosen to put up with, or has even agreed to, this behaviour in her marriage?

    Marriages are intensely personal, and, as I've said, it takes all sorts. But at the end of the day, it comes down to this...you cannot control anyone else or force them to change their point of view. Neither can you rescue someone who doesn't wish to be saved (it's highly unlikely they'll thank you for trying!). Sometimes the best thing to do is get on with your own happiness and be there for her if she ever decides something needs to change.

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    Quote Originally Posted by StarryEyedSister View Post
    Hi Isabella,

    I have learned over the years that it really does take all types to make the world go round!

    In terms of what you have described, I'll be completely honest - no-one can tell you if this marriage is 'right' or 'wrong'. Just as it's impossible to say whether someone is a 'good' or a 'bad' person. Here's why - your idea of what a 'good' marriage looks like may be completely different from mine. Everyone has differing opinions.

    Here's my opinion - personally, I wouldn't be happy if I were a part of the marriage you've described. Would I still be in that marriage if the situation didn't change? Honestly? I don't know. Because I'm not in your cousin's wife's shoes.

    Ultimately, there is a lot you're seeing, but equally, there's a lot you don't know. Here's another question - what if his wife has chosen to put up with, or has even agreed to, this behaviour in her marriage?

    Marriages are intensely personal, and, as I've said, it takes all sorts. But at the end of the day, it comes down to this...you cannot control anyone else or force them to change their point of view. Neither can you rescue someone who doesn't wish to be saved (it's highly unlikely they'll thank you for trying!). Sometimes the best thing to do is get on with your own happiness and be there for her if she ever decides something needs to change.
    thanks for your reply starry eyed sister.
    i am seeing these two since a very long time and since he is my cousin i actually feel bad that he behaves like a needy person running around with other women for affections while his wife is a clear cut case of enjoying his star and wealthy
    status..
    i feel bad.
    just your thoughts on this.

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    Let me say this - I understand your reaction in failing to understand the dynamics of their marriage. But ultimately it is just that - THEIR marriage. Unless you are a party to this marriage, or directly affected by it in some other wsy, I honestly believe that you need to accept that their marriage is their responsibility; and equally, your opinion, morals and reactions (like feeling bad) are your responsibility.

    You know, I also have a family member who married a number of years ago. He regularly cheated both before and after his wedding, and was completely blase about it; either joking to pass it off or relying on his bubbly flirtatious personality to excuse it. His wife never appeared to notice or care. He's rich, and she's young. Cliched marriage of convenience? I don't know. And frankly, I don't care because it's none of my business.

    When I noticed all this happening, I wasn't particularly comfortable choosing to go out with them because inevitably he'd be flirting inappropriately at some point. So I took responsibility for my reaction and chose to reduce the number of times I socialise with them.

    If you feel bad at what you're seeing, I would advise something similar. But I repeat again - you cannot change them or their marriage. You can only control yourself and deal with your own reaction.

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    Spot on SES, couldn't have said it better myself.

    Isabelle, my questions to you are: Why do you feel a need to scrutinise their life? Why are you not focused on your own life? Are you in a relationship? Are you achieving your career goals? Are you doing the hobbies you want to do? What are YOU looking for?

    All the best,

    Annita
    "Believe nothing, no matter where you read it, or who said it, no matter if I have said it, unless it agrees with your own reason and your own common sense." Buddha

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