I cant stop my brain ! I just want to be over him right now..

[Ilovedavidbowie]

Hi,

Ok after reading some posts on here, I realized and I guess it took me a long time to realize that even though my ex said I love you, he didn't do anything to back it up ! And its been almost 2 months of no contact, I told him to leave me alone, Im done trying to ask for a relationship. I know I have a post in here in the LDR area already. I am having a hard time, and I dont know why ?
I dont want to contact him, I dont want to think about him or anything. I feel like I am relapsing. I didn't go to the gym today, I have been very angry lately, on and off anger. I don't know what to do, I am trying to find a physchiatrist to chat w (spoke w a counsler, didnt help or not right doctor?)
I am still getting reminders around me, in all types of way that remind me of my ex and I am not asking for them ! I am not thinking about him when I am busy now. I just want to be over this 100% I know he is and i am not its not ok with me, I want to be happy. How long in no contact does it take for me to seriously be over him ? Thats what I want. I still randomly cry sometimes, I can hardly listen to certain music, help me please. I read the thought stoppage and I try but nothing is working enough.

I just want to get over it as fast as possible I am sick to death of crying and feeling sad.
help ?

[niks]

Hey , I'm sorry to hear you are having such a hard time.

It's hard to say how long it will take you to get over him as everyone is different, some people can move on quicker than others, it does not mean there's anything wrong with you though ... we are all just different. It took me nearly 6 months to stop crying for no reason (that doesn't mean you will take that long , that was just me) . Sounds to me you are doing all the right things, you just need to keep doing all the things you are doing, it will pay off eventually. I also found listening to self help hypnosis CD's helpful, i would lay in bed just listening to them for a couple of hours before going to sleep and it would help keep my mind off of him.

the anger is a normal process , in a lot of ways a breakup hits you like a bereavement , however hard you try to move on , sometimes you just have to let your emotions run their course

and most importantly , don't beat yourself up if you have a bad day , it doesn't mean you are relapsing, just let it go , and try again tomorrow.

Hugs to you, we are always here if you need to talk

[OhManINeedCoffee]

Hey hon. I'm so sorry you're going through such a rough time, but your feelings, like niks said, are totally normal. That doesn't help them go away, but the anger is a good thing - don't let it eat you up, though - find a way to get all of these things out of you. Working out helps get that energy out, and for me, keeping a private journal of unsent letters to my ex helped. I could say whatever I wanted without any feeling bad or even more rejected afterward.

And no, you're not relapsing at all. Getting through a painful breakup isn't a continual upward moving line...it goes up and down, you have bad days and good ones. And they happen for awhile. The thing to remember is NOT to beat yourself up over a bad day...or even several bad days in a row. You're basically going through a grieving process, and you're working through the emotions the same way. It's better to work through them than deny them.

You're doing better than you think - keeping up with no contact for as long as you have is great, believe it or not. Ask any of us - we've all set ourselves back by breaking no contact shortly after initiating it. Myself included.

It'll take you awhile to get through this, but in the meantime, do what you can to get these bad feelings OUT of you so you're not stuck in your head so much.

Hang with us - we're here to help as much as we can.