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Hey hon. I'm so sorry you're going through such a rough time, but your feelings, like niks said, are totally normal. That doesn't help them go away, but the anger is a good thing - don't let it eat you up, though - find a way to get all of these things out of you. Working out helps get that energy out, and for me, keeping a private journal of unsent letters to my ex helped. I could say whatever I wanted without any feeling bad or even more rejected afterward.
And no, you're not relapsing at all. Getting through a painful breakup isn't a continual upward moving line...it goes up and down, you have bad days and good ones. And they happen for awhile. The thing to remember is NOT to beat yourself up over a bad day...or even several bad days in a row. You're basically going through a grieving process, and you're working through the emotions the same way. It's better to work through them than deny them.
You're doing better than you think - keeping up with no contact for as long as you have is great, believe it or not. Ask any of us - we've all set ourselves back by breaking no contact shortly after initiating it. Myself included.
It'll take you awhile to get through this, but in the meantime, do what you can to get these bad feelings OUT of you so you're not stuck in your head so much.
Hang with us - we're here to help as much as we can.
"Are tangerines really just oranges that didn't want it enough?" - Random Greeting Card
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