Results 1 to 6 of 6

Thread: I need advice from guys! Please help

  1. #1
    Freshman Member
    Points: 341, Level: 6
    Points: 341, Level: 6
    Level completed: 82%,
    Points required for next Level: 9
    Level completed: 82%, Points required for next Level: 9
    Overall activity: 0%
    Overall activity: 0%
    Achievements:
    100 Experience Points7 days registered31 days registered3 months registered250 Experience Points
    Susie1's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2012
    Posts
    9
    Points
    341
    Level
    6
    Rep Power
    0


    Did you find this post helpful? Yes | No

    Default I need advice from guys! Please help

    Hi everyone, i have been in a relationship with my boyfriend a year now. He is usually a nice guy but he is used to living a nice life. He earns quite a lot of money so he is used to being able to buy anything he wants. Anyway a few months ago he bought a gun, its a replica(deactiated) and he says its his toy. I told him i dont want a real gun in the house as he mentioned he wanted to buy one. He said he wouldnt buy a real one if i didnt want one in the house. Last night a friend came round and my boyfriend got the gun out and said he could activate it again within minutes. I got a bit mad and said he lied to me. He got in a boo With me. He said he couldnt say anything as i would go mad. Then last night he said he wants a real gun and is buying one whether i like it or not. I am not happy about it. I said i would move out if he wants a gun more than me. He got pissed off again. He says im trying to control him and dont let him do what he wants to do. I dont see it like that. I said we live together and should decide about things like this together. Guys, what do you think? Am i being a bitch not wanting him to keep a gun in the house? Forgot to mention he wants to keep it by the bed. I think its strange. What do you think i should do??? And to top it all off, hes the one making me feel like its all my fault. Please i need your advice! Thanks

  2. #2
    Administrator
    Points: 78,139, Level: 100
    Points: 78,139, Level: 100
    Level completed: 0%,
    Points required for next Level: 0
    Level completed: 0%, Points required for next Level: 0
    Overall activity: 0%
    Overall activity: 0%
    Achievements:
    Your first Group25000 Experience Points10000 Experience Points5000 Experience Points1000 Experience Points
    SuperDave71's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Location
    Memphis
    Posts
    1,563
    Points
    78,139
    Level
    100
    Blog Entries
    1
    My Mood
    Cheeky
    Rep Power
    125


    Did you find this post helpful? Yes | No

    Default

    Susie1,


    I can certainly understand your concern over the gun. I know it is his house but the fact is, he is not listening to what you are saying. Does he have ANY justification to by a gun? ( Was he robbed, beat up or lack that macho image maybe his friends have?) To have a weapon in the home SHOULD be a compromise between two adults rather than a "I don't care what you say". Did you express WHY you didn't want the gun in the house? This could have been a matter of HOW you said it rather than what you said.

    If you can reason with your boyfriend, maybe he would listen rather than just assume you were making a demand rather than a request.

    Hope this helps,


    SuperDave71
    "We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, therefore, is not an act but a habit." -Aristotle

  3. #3
    Freshman Member
    Points: 341, Level: 6
    Points: 341, Level: 6
    Level completed: 82%,
    Points required for next Level: 9
    Level completed: 82%, Points required for next Level: 9
    Overall activity: 0%
    Overall activity: 0%
    Achievements:
    100 Experience Points7 days registered31 days registered3 months registered250 Experience Points
    Susie1's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2012
    Posts
    9
    Points
    341
    Level
    6
    Rep Power
    0


    Did you find this post helpful? Yes | No

    Default

    Thanks for a quick reply, the house is ours, he always says the house is as much his as is mine, we rent together. I said i dont feel comfortable with a gun next to our bed, i asked him for a reason why he needed a gun and he said because he just wants one, no other reason. I really dont see why he needs a gun?

  4. #4
    Super Moderator
    Points: 9,994, Level: 66
    Points: 9,994, Level: 66
    Level completed: 86%,
    Points required for next Level: 56
    Level completed: 86%, Points required for next Level: 56
    Overall activity: 0%
    Overall activity: 0%
    Achievements:
    7 days registered1000 Experience Points500 Experience Points250 Experience Points100 Experience Points
    Awards:
    Discussion Ender
    Tiggerinlondon's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Location
    London, United Kingdom
    Posts
    507
    Points
    9,994
    Level
    66
    Blog Entries
    2
    My Mood
    Breezy
    Rep Power
    114


    Did you find this post helpful? Yes | No

    Default

    Susie,

    IME (in my experience) most arguments are about desires and fears.

    You fear him having a gun in the house, why? You desire no guns in the house, why?
    He desires a gun in the house, why? He fears not being allowed a gun in the house, why?

    When you can both communicate your desires and fears and understand each other, then perhaps you can find a win-win solution. For instance, would it be acceptable to you if he bought a gun, but had it in the gun cabinet, locked in the shed/garage (assuming you have either of those)? That way it's not easily accessible or in the house?

    To be honest, IMHO (in my humble opinion) he has already lied to you (breach of trust). What makes you think, that if you tell him he can't have one, he won't just go out and get one anyway and hide it in the house? Not right, but an act of rebellion against what you've decreed. As you've quite rightly said, you both need to make this decision and it can't be just that you've decided you don't want one in the house or you'll leave him. Those sorts of "threats" lead to break up's.

    BTW just to be clear, I actually agree with you and would never want a gun in the house, it is IMHO entirely too dangerous. IME people are irresponsible and when out of control i.e. drunk or angry or just plain careless, then that gun could become a deadly threat to you or him or anyone he is messing about with the gun with i.e. friends.

    Of course, I live in England and here is an excerpt from Wiki about how we deal with gun legislation:

    After mass shootings in England and Scotland in the 1980s and later by people with licensed firearms, what is considered to be some of the strictest firearms legislation in the world was enacted.[3][4] Fully automatic weapons (submachine-guns, etc.) and self-loading weapons of calibre larger than .22 rimfire are totally banned, as also are all handguns (pistols and revolvers). Other rifles and their ammunition are permitted only for good reason. Shotgun ownership and use is controlled, and even low-power air rifles and pistols, while permitted, are controlled to some extent. A firearms certificate issued by the police is required for all weapons and ammunition except air weapons. Possession of a single bullet can lead to severe penalties.

    Do you have any children? Usually a locked gun cabinet is a good idea anyway, however if you have children IMHO is it a must.

    In summary, I suggest you both sit down and ask the other person questions; why don't you/do you want a gun? I understand what you said is <insert paraphrase of what they said as you understand it> is that right? Ensure you understand each other and then try to find a resolution to suit you both.

    Good luck.

    All the best,

    Annita
    "Believe nothing, no matter where you read it, or who said it, no matter if I have said it, unless it agrees with your own reason and your own common sense." Buddha

  5. #5
    Freshman Member
    Points: 136, Level: 2
    Points: 136, Level: 2
    Level completed: 72%,
    Points required for next Level: 14
    Level completed: 72%, Points required for next Level: 14
    Overall activity: 0%
    Overall activity: 0%
    Achievements:
    7 days registered100 Experience Points

    Join Date
    May 2016
    Posts
    2
    Points
    136
    Level
    2
    Rep Power
    0


    Did you find this post helpful? Yes | No

    Default

    I felt the same way at one point until I was showed how to use it and know everything about it and shoot it. The way things r today I think that people who actually learn about them and r using them for right reasons and safety should have one. I didn't wanna touch them I was scared of them until one day I needed one. I'm so glad I learned I own 3 2 nines and a pink 380 I love shooting it at the gun range. U would not believe how much people make it look like guns r bad. It's the people who get them for wrong reasons I think u should really give it a try if someone broke in the house and he was being hurt and u could get it u need to know how to use it so u could save his and ur life. It dosent matter where u live anymore people will hurt anyone. But that's my two cents

    Sent from my 5054N using Tapatalk

  6. #6
    Freshman Member
    Points: 136, Level: 2
    Points: 136, Level: 2
    Level completed: 72%,
    Points required for next Level: 14
    Level completed: 72%, Points required for next Level: 14
    Overall activity: 0%
    Overall activity: 0%
    Achievements:
    7 days registered100 Experience Points

    Join Date
    May 2016
    Posts
    2
    Points
    136
    Level
    2
    Rep Power
    0


    Did you find this post helpful? Yes | No

    Default

    Guns have a safety and they half to be loaded and one in the chamber to go off and some has to pull the trigger I slept w mine when I was pregnant I knew where it was and even if someone tried to attack me I could grab it and know what I'm doing b4 they saw it coming. Just give it a try if u love this guy obviously something hit home for him. And he feels safer w it make sure he knows how to use it and then it's something both of u would have fun and feel safe

    Sent from my 5054N using Tapatalk

Thread Information

Users Browsing this Thread

There are currently 1 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 1 guests)

Similar Threads

  1. Help Why do guys......
    By Elisha321 in forum Male Point of View
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 06-03-2013, 05:43 AM
  2. Help Hi guys
    By Susie1 in forum New Member Introductions
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 05-10-2012, 07:33 AM
  3. Old Guys in the Gym
    By thirdeyevest in forum Humor
    Replies: 24
    Last Post: 12-08-2008, 04:34 PM
  4. Have you guys seen this?
    By JTV2008 in forum Humor
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 12-07-2008, 08:35 PM

Tags for this Thread

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •