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Thread: Need advice on this.

  1. #1
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    Default Need advice on this.

    Note: I do have some trust issues because of all my past relationships and girls being sneaky which may not be helping me in this situation.

    So about 8 months ago i started hanging out with a Co-Working jen (is what we will cal her) in which i had a thing for. Now i new she was seeing someone as he was also a co-worker so i never really acted on my feelings. well one night she was talking to me on Facebook as she was bored amd they had gotten into it and wanted someone to talk to so we hung out for a few and she was teling me how she wasnt happy and i told her she nedded to discuse theses things with him. jen i started hanging out alot together and eventually they broke up and a few weeks later we started dating. After about 4 moths we decided to get an aparment together as to help her get out of the 2 bedroom she was in with the ex. Jen decided that because they have known eachother since 6ths grade and dated for for 4 yrs and because she hurt him that she wanted to be friends or atleast try to stay friends. I decided that i trust her and that she should be allowed to have any friends she wants.

    About 2 months ago she was acting all down and upset and she just didnt seem like herself kinda liek she was depressed. so we talked about it and she felt liek she was bringing me down and making me into someone i wasnt and i told her she wasnt ans she decided that she didnt want to be in a relationship or to date anyone but she also didnt want me to move out and that she still cared about me and really really liked me still. Now i thought maybe she was a lil stress having the labe or maybe a lil scared of what the outcome of this relationship may be. So i was like ok. Now she seemed happy as if we had just met and liek she was the first couple of months.

    Without the label of us being a relationship we still seem like we are we go out togther we sleep in the same bed we have sex we do everything a couple would do.

    Lately shes seemed diff. Shes seemed kinda distant (which i cant explain just how i feel). Our sex life isnt the same we were doing it like everyday now it seems like it depends how she feels. the last 2 weeks i think we have had sex 2-3 times. and her reasons have been tired, neck hurts, back hurts, or just not in the mood. (Note she did mess her back and neck up).
    She even told me that badgering her isnt gonna make me want to have sex with you anymore. Now when we decided to lose the labe she said she didnt want to sleep with or makeout with anyone else cause she was happy with what she was getting at home.

    She does still talk to her ex via txt and hanging out with friends and does give him rides to work and pickups from work. (normally he gets out at 10 shes back here at 1020). Sometimes longer if hes out late. It does seem liek there txting has gotten more then what it was in the beginning of our relationship but she keeps telling me there nothing but friends and that all and thats not gonna change cause he has lied to her and is into smoking which she cant stand and drinks alot.

    Now i did ask her if me and her were friends and her and the ex are friends then why do we hold hands and makeout in public and stuff still and i asked her if she does that with the ex and she said no cause we are just friends and i have feelings for and all me and him are are friends.

    Now her family seem to want to invite the ex to everything and not me but jen invites me and makes it clear to them that i may be coming weather they want me to or not. Same goes for her friends sometimes they invite her places not me but they do invite the ex.

    jen has never lied to me about where she was going or who she was hanging with and isnt sneaky with her phone so i trust her.

    But the whole sex thing has got me wondering if shes faithful or thinking or cheating. And im not sure how she really feels about me. I do know shes always misses me when we are apart and always greets me with hugs and kisses when i get home as do i do the same to her.

    So im asking for your guys advice and opinions.

    My questions are.
    1.Is the EX a Threat.
    2. Do u think she cheating.
    3.Can she be trusted.
    4. Am i over analyzing this whole thing.

    Please leave ur advice weather it has to do with the questions or not and if you need any more info let me know.
    Thanks for your time.

  2. #2
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    Dear sportyguy28,


    Here are some questions that might help you with the answers you seek:

    1) What are you looking for?
    2) Is that what you are getting from this "not" relationship?
    3) Do you have issues you have not dealt with from previous relationships?
    4) Does your "ex" have issues she has not dealt with from previous relationships?
    5) What do you want to happen here?
    6) What else do you have in your life except for your ex?
    7) Where are your family?
    8) Do you have many friends?
    9) How do you feel about yourself?

    I hope these questions and their answers might help guide you to where you want to be.

    All the best,


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