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Thread: Problems with a best friend

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    Default Problems with a best friend

    So I've had this friend for the last 3 years that I really like. We've had a solid friendship up until this last summer. With a rough spot back in the spring as well. She's got this "Violent Alcoholic boyfriend (This was her description of him) that she's been with for the last 2 years. Back in the spring, she cheated on him twice, with two different guys. She says they were just friends but spent the nights at their places and used some of her family to cover up that she was lying to him. She even lied to me and then admitted it later. One of the times I know she was high and was ditched by one of the guys for some time cause she asked me to hang out while she waited for him. So fast forward a few months now, she knows that I've liked her a lot over the entire friendship. I bought her a dog for Christmas 2 years ago, this last birthday, spent a small fortune on her for her birthday while she was away at her sisters. So this summer, there were some fireworks in town and she saw me, and knew I would have wanted to hang out watching them, but never called out when she saw me cause she was with her friends. I guess I should mention that she is 21 and I'm 35. But now that we've had a few arguments over the summer about how I view our friendship and wanting to be just better friends, she's started to pull away. We've gone form 200 to 300 texts a day to some days not even talking at all. Others barely 10 words are said. My whole friendship with her most times has been completely one way. I'm usually the one that starts the conversations, and tries to plan stuff. Is it time for me to move on and just let the friendship fade away, but still leaving it open without an ending?

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    Default

    AJ,

    Welcome to theLoveLogic. May I ask how you two met in the first place? To me, after reading your post it seems as if you want more than just her friendship. Am I wrong to assume this? Could you give us a bit more information so we can better assist you with your questions.


    Thanks in advance,


    -SuperDave71
    "We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, therefore, is not an act but a habit." -Aristotle

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    Default

    Sure we Met at work. I was a training assistant and she was in training. You are correct in your assumption as well. We've hit it off right away and friends and until this spring/summer the problems started. She's known all along how I feel. as I was pretty honest with her about liking her. We've always been able to confide in each other for most things. She's also was abused And we've talked a lot about that together and we both thought that we were past that part. She has a lot of trust issues. We've been working on them our whole friendship. I hope that helps. Thanks

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    Default

    Dear ajwinter,

    Welcome, I am sure you already know what you want: "Is it time for me to move on and just let the friendship fade away..."

    Asking us to confirm it, is IME (in my experience) often what people want. I would like to ask you some questions if you don't mind.

    What was your childhood like?
    How are your family?
    What type of women have you picked previously in your relationships?
    How do you feel about yourself?
    What sort of person would you say you are, please describe yourself?

    Thanks

    All the best,

    Annita
    "Believe nothing, no matter where you read it, or who said it, no matter if I have said it, unless it agrees with your own reason and your own common sense." Buddha

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