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Thread: soooooo confused

  1. #1
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    Default soooooo confused

    Ok so i read a post just now by "OhManINeedCoffee" about nice guys versus bad boys and the in-between good guys, i think for the most part i fall into the good guys category, "yeah of course you'd say that" is what your thinking i know but i feel i do, granted i still sample from the nice guy category but not to much, ok so here's a little background on me im 23, 5'11, 290lbs (but i've been told i look 250 and carry it well) i'm a pre-med student, and not looking for a hook-up in any way.....and frankly i'm OBLIVIOUS to the subtle signs of the fairer sex so i came here looking for some insight, here's a recent example, I've been working out at my colleges rec center for a few weeks in an attempt to shed un-welcomed long term house guest. Im there strictly for myself no other reason but i'm very observant but nature and tend to notice people and there actions and if i see them often enough i start to pick-up on habits, so to the point.

    There's a girl i noticed the other day at the gym for the first time, she seen me notice her and we made eye contact for a few seconds when i like a doofus, grinned from ear to ear. I couldn't help it she was striking so to say, well we continued our work outs and me being me kept noticing her out of the corner of my eye and sometimes just blatantly looking(never staring tho) well having been a patron of gyms in the past i can tell when someone is there to workout and better their body versus there to meet someone. she was the later she moved slow never got very sweaty and every time we made eye contact we exchanged smiles or smirks (5 or 6 times), after my lift i went upstairs to do cardio about 10 minutes into it i looked around and lone behold she was there, and we once again smiled at each other, then i left after i got done not being gutsy enough to just walk up and talk to her. Then today when i was there working out i didn't see her until i went up to do cardio and when i finally did i was doing a cooldown lap we looked (ok more like stared for 15 seconds or so at each other) at which point my doofus-ness decided the biggest grin it could muster was appropriate at that precise moment.


    Hoping for a smile in return which would have bolstered my confidence enough at that point to actually attempt to strike up a convo instead she simply looked away and when i came around we seen each other again and she simply looked down.......ok i know this was a long winded and drawn out post for which i am sorry but did i do something wrong or am i miss-reading the signals, how do i tell the difference between a friendly smile and a "i think you're cute come say something" smile any advice would be welcomed....also im very confident...just not with women

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    Default

    Hello Db and welcome here

    Honestly, i don't think there's a simple, black and white answer to your question. Sure, there are tons of sites, forums, books, even dvds on pick-up techniques, openers and a whole lot of other dating related mumbo-jumbo but based on my experience, walking down that path won't get you nowhere as social-dynamics is far more complex then a few funny lines, 2 seasons reruns of "Lie to me" (God i hate idiots thinking that show made them smarter in any way) or a Animal Planet documentary worthy, analysis of a a person behavior. To be explicit, when it comes to first contacts, you're in the fast lane as "instant gratification" are the magic words, and a pleasant smiles exchange can turn very fast into a "weirdo" tag on your forehead, but then again, that "weirdo" tag can be easily turned into attraction if you do this very very complicated thing called "speaking" Think about it this way DB : "What's the worst that could happen?" -> the conversation will lead nowhere and the two of you will be a bit more than strangers, which was the status you already had ? Don't worry, if she won't like you, she won't sound the village horn, gather all her females and other house pets, cows included, make a circle around you and follow you everywhere crying out loud and laughing "HE DARED !!!"

    Think about it this way, number 2: every woman got picked on in her life, and in the age segment you're "hunting", she's probably getting it on a weekly basis, so her bag of "put you down" lines is way fuller than any bag of "pick-up" lines you could gather from the internet gurus. Also, she's really not looking for somebody to smack her down with some 3 hours long mind boggling conversations about the meaning of life seen through a cat's eyes, she's looking for a pleasant company and a fun time, one in which she can participate, actually talk not listen to you and look ugly at you when you shut up for a second. You can't deliver those two if you're constantly thinking what Mister_Sex_Guy_Ideal_Lover_of_the_Century_69 said you should say nor if you're planning your next funny routine like a washed up comedian begging for the audience's attention, simply because none of those 2 characters aren't the real you and the "pretending to be someone else to impress you" gets picked up really fast by most women.

    Always keep in mind : What's the worst that could happen ? (and no, you won't be moo-moo'ed forever by the village cows)

    Cheers, Mike
    "What you won't let die, won't let you live "

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    Hi DB,

    I can't add much more to what Mike has said, and have to agree with him here buddy. There is only so much 'smiling at each other' you can do before it get's weird. As mentioned, there is no way to 'know' what happened, but from what you have said it sounds like you could have weirded her out.
    -Peace
    Dan

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    so if i did weird her out would that mean it was too late to even try and i should just keep my distance?

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    What do you have to lose? Ask her out for a drink and see what happens. What's the worst that can happen? She says no...
    -Peace
    Dan

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    I think you just need to work on the approach. If you really like her go up to her like a man. Ask for her name, how long she's been working out. Try to use a little situatoonal humor. The gym is full of that. Make her laugh, ask for her number and then cut out. This works. Trust me. Good luck.
    Last edited by OhManINeedCoffee; 09-16-2012 at 10:16 AM. Reason: No outside links allowed.

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