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Thread: New bi-sexual and need input

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    Default New bi-sexual and need input

    Up until now, I have been straight. (I'm a 50ish y/o female) I'm very interested in a gay woman I've met - not for experimentation but for a long-term relationship. She's also interested in a long-term relationship. We've gone out a few times and are getting quite close (no intimacy as yet but it is imminent...) Because I have no experience with women, I'm concerned about me pleasing her (sexually). I've watched an online video about a lesbian couple making love (It was NOT porn, but rather educational) and it was pretty much as I expected it would be but I'd appreciate any input a lesbian /female bi-sexual woman in this forum cares to offer me.
    Last edited by Oceanbreeze; 10-25-2012 at 10:00 PM. Reason: no response so really shortened it

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    Default Need advice

    I have a high sexual drive and I'm not sure how to approach this with my prospective partner
    Last edited by Oceanbreeze; 11-04-2012 at 10:36 PM. Reason: shortened it

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    Red face Follow-up

    Thank you for your replies, Annita.

    I had thought about women before and did briefly date 2 different ones, but even though each had a sexual interest in me I felt no immediate chemistry with them so didn't prolong it (maybe I should have with the first because in hindsight I'd be attracted to her now but that was 20+ years ago. The more recent woman was definitely not my type as far as physical attraction goes.) I didn't actively search for a lesbian / bi-sexual woman until just recently and I used an online dating site to do so. I thought that medium would allow me to "preview" a lot of woman and it did. Basically, I went about narrowing down my search just like I had when I looked online for a male (e.g., physical attractiveness - a "spark", what they said in their profile and how they said it, geographical proximity, apparent intelligence, hobbies, etc.)

    I now consider myself bi-sexual because I have a strong sexual attraction to this woman (from scent to physical looks, etc), I want to be intimate with her, I like her as a person (e.g., she is a loving mom, has a good work ethic, stays healthy and fit, etc), I want to spend much time with her, etc. I feel the same about her - or more - as I have about any man with whom I’ve wanted a serious relationship.

    In terms of her having patience, she's indicated that she doesn’t want to rush me into a sexual relationship but I have told her that I am ready and wanting it and this absolutely true. She does, however, think that because I’m a virgin I should experience sexual relations with her before I commit myself (and she to me, I suppose she also means). I don’t really agree with her comment that I need to have a sexual experience before I can be certain that I want to be serious with her because many male-female couples make a commitment to each other while one or both are still virgins. However, the point is moot because I want to be intimate with her, anyway.

    Thank you in advance !

    ADDENDUM (a day or so following the above): Well, she and I made love last night and she really pleased me but I wasn't so adept in pleasing her. Today, in as gentle way as she could, she told me she didn't have the patience to be with a virgin / a woman who's not sexually experienced. (I was her first) I asked if that meant she didn't want to continue to see me and she said yes. She said something about not wanting to sound like a jerk and that she was just being honest. I don't fault her. But I am hurt. Not a very good first experience.... Thank goodness my daughter is gay and her girlfriend is bi-sexual and they're giving me much support as I have no one else to talk with this about because I've not "come out"...
    Last edited by Oceanbreeze; 11-01-2012 at 09:35 PM. Reason: added addendum

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