Right about now I feel like ****.
No. That's wrong.
I feel like a c*nt.
I drafted my letter and revised accordingly.
I changed words that would be seen as a direct attack but kept it honest and truthful.
I included how I feel and how she makes me feel.
I also asked her how she felt.
I was working my night shift last night and this morning, when I got back, I rechecked my letter and made sure that it wasn't just about me.
I wanted her to know that how she felt was also important but made sure she understood how I was feeling and why I did this in the first place.
Well she came and woke me up. Much earlier than I expected, and literally broke down in front of me.
She apologised for how she had made me feel and promised to make a change.
All the while she was crying profusely and these weren't crocodile tears.
These were genuine, real deal, full blown years that were a couple of steps down from hysterics.
She stated that she was sorry and that if I wanted to leave, or if I didn't love her anymore that she would understand.
I stopped her and told her that it was never about leaving, although it got bad enough to make think of it as an option, and that the whole reason for me doing the letter thing was for the opposite reasons.
I also made it clear that I did the letter as saying it face to face would probably be worse as I was bound to mess it up.
Though we have had a good talk about things and that we aired our feelings, I never thought for second that I would have done that to her.
I feel so bad now that I don't know what to do.
I don't know how to explain it but now, I feel worse than I did before trying to resolve this.