Freshman Member
Points: 126, Level: 2
Level completed: 52%,
Points required for next Level: 24
Overall activity: 99.0%
Achievements:

- Rep Power
- 0
Did you find this post helpful?

|
Ex-girlfriend keeps emailing me all day...need some advice!
Hi,
I will try to explain my situation as best as I can and I really hope someone can help me with this.
I'm 22, my ex is 20. We were together for 1 year and almost 3 months when the month prior to our break-up she asked for no contact for a while. I panicked and started calling her and even visiting her house unannounced (was a really bad idea).
This was my first relationship ever so I had no clue that if I continued acting needy and clingy I would push her further away. So it continued...and after one month she let me know that she wanted to break-up with me, because she was so tired of being in a relationship with me (we truly loved each other, but there was a lot of jealousy and insecurity going on). I tried begging and pleading of course. I didn't know any better then. I think the begging lasted approximately 3 day before I gave up and started looking for advice on the internet. That's when I found this site and started reading all of the different situations of people trying to get their ex back. So I decided to go NC and just drop the hope of ever getting back together with my ex for a while.
I couldn't eat and I couldn't sleep, but I signed up for therapy to help me deal with the issues of insecurity I had during the relationship.
All the while my ex kept in contact with my sister daily. Always asking some weird question about me out of the blue. My sister would tell me and ask me what to reply. I always told her to not give my ex any real information about me, because I was honestly trying to get over her. I wanted to get rid of the depressed feelings as quickly as possible.
So after two weeks of NC (there was however always some indirect contact during the NC, like contacting my sister, sending me a christmas card etc.) she send me an email wishing me a merry christmas. She also included all kinds of information about how exactly she was going to celebrate it and just all kinds of details. This came as a total surprise to me because just days ago she seemed angry and told me: "I'm already over you, now it's your turn to move on."
I didn't want to come off as bitter or rude so I replied. And she answered. And I replied again. And she answered. And this has not stopped ever since the 24th of december.
At first the emails were a bit formal. I gave a very quick reply without giving too much information about myself. She was actually the one who felt the need to tell me just about everything going on in her life (how she was feeling, what she'd eaten, what she was going to do that day) EVERYTHING. So slowly I started to give more details too and now we email each other at least 6/7 times a day. Whatever is going on we let each other know.
Now here's what I need advice on: How do I proceed?
I want her back, and I have let her know this. I told her that friendship is not what I want ultimately, but I do want to respect her and the space she needs to figure things out. I suggested we wait until after my therapy (which is in about three weeks) and then maybe we could meet up and have a drink somewhere. Take things slowly this time and see if in time we can rekindle our feelings for each other. (btw I have apologized for several mistakes I've made during our relationship and she accepted every one of them)
She said that she is happy that I'm in therapy and that's it's good for me, but she is not sure about anything in the future. She also said the reason she doesn't want to meet me in person right now is because she is afraid she'll want to hug me and kiss me and that would lead to a relationship and she doesn't want that right now. What's confusing is that she also said that she would always have feelings for me (thus wanting to kiss me when she sees me). Does this mean she'll never let me meet her face to face again?
I really just want the chance to meet her in person, start hanging out once in a while and see where it goes. I plan to wait two or three more weeks before asking her again. Is this a good idea? Also, do I just keep the amount of contact we have now as it is? She has moved from angry and annoyed to formal to very friendly and now we almost interact in the same way as when we were together except no romance and no fights.
Btw my ex is really stubborn and it takes her two whole days to decide whether she'll go to the mall or not...so convincing her to meet me is probably going to take a whole lot of work and a lot of time...
I'd appreciate any advice
Bookmarks