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Hey there, and welcome.
I also see two sides to the guilt on this. Cheating is never something I encourage, but at the same time, I also know that people generally don't cheat for no reason whatsoever. People cheat when their own relationships start losing stability, warmth, respect, and any number of other things that healthy relationships are supposed to have. Essentially, people who are happy in their own relationships don't find a need to cheat on their partners. People who feel as though they've been lacking something in their relationships are far more likely to go seek it elsewhere. Relationships are a two-way street...you need BOTH people contributing to the happiness of the relationship in order to stop it going sour.
Slick has pretty much nailed it here - there's definitely a double-standard with you and your boyfriend. He can have sex with other women, and you're supposed to continue to trust him and be okay with all of it, but the second you stray, he suddenly feels justified in taking "revenge"? Love does not involve revenge. His attitude is childish - having sex with another woman in your home while you're made to sit in the other room and hear it? How is that love? How is that respect or affection? How is that indicative of a desire to mend the broken parts or your relationship?
Look, you cheated, and yeah, you already know it wasn't the greatest thing to do, given that you feel guilty about it. But I agree with Slick in that taking 100% of the blame here is unnecessary - you didn't just wake up one morning and decide to do what you did on a whim. Something was/is wrong in your relationship, and this is how you ultimately coped with it. When a man prefers playing video games to spending time with his girlfriend, there's a problem. When a man feels totally justified in swinging with other women but barring you from swinging with other men (I don't know much about the swinging culture, so forgive me - but I always assumed that couples involved with swinging were doing so for MUTUAL enjoyment...not just letting the guy get his jollies and leaving his girlfriend/wife unfulfilled), then there's a problem. It sounds as though he's far more interested in his own desires and expects you to accommodate him. Forgive me, but what he's suggesting to do for "revenge" sounds like something a spoiled sorority girl does in some teen drama. This is not growth - this is regression. This will not mend your relationship...it'll simply make him feel like he has the upper hand again - in my opinion, that's the crux of his problem with this.
Healthy relationships do not involve power-play. Healthy, mature people aren't constantly needing to assert themselves as the ones "in power" in a relationship, because healthy, mature people are generally capable of leaving their egos out of it (we all slip up on this from time to time, but most of us will make an effort to act like mature adults instead of playing childish games).
You have mentioned that your boyfriend is questioning whether he wants to remain in a relationship with you, but let me ask you this: do YOU want to remain in this relationship?
"Are tangerines really just oranges that didn't want it enough?" - Random Greeting Card