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Thread: I spoiled my girl too much

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    Default I spoiled my girl too much

    A little back story for you: We're both 18 We met at a movie and have been inseparable ever since. She was so cool just chill not high maintenance like the girls at my school . Her idea of a good time was sitting on my couch watching a movie or driving out to the boonies and looking at the stars.I wanted to give her everything she wanted, and i did about 90% of my paycheck after paying for the apartment rent goes towards buying her presents. And slowly but surely she became a little more self centered, a little more ditzy, and bratty. This all climaxed when i bought her a 250 dollar piece of jewelry for no reason at all. She knows how to get me to buy her things. She'll see it, ask me to buy it, start hugging me, flash those big brown puppy dog eyes, throw in a pouty lip, and say please 1,000 times, and if that doesn't work she kisses me on the cheek until my heart melts enough and i'm a sucker for that so i give in. So Sunday she wakes up at 8 am and asks if we can go to the city ( Chicago). I like chicago, i like to just look at the people and sky scrapers, and i hope to school there. We end up on michigan avenue in Nordstrom and within about 30 seconds she finds a necklace.
    Her: You know who would really look good in that?
    Me: Kate Upton?
    Her: No, me
    * starts hugging me
    * flashes eyes and lips
    Her: Babe, will you buy it for me please i want it
    please please it's so pretty you know you want to
    * starts kissing me
    Me: but sweetie it's like $250 i don't have that kind of money right now
    i bought you nice stuff for Christmas and i'm buying Valentine's stuff
    Her: But i want it now
    * puppy dog eyes*
    Her: Please baby do it for me
    Her: think about how pretty i'd be in it
    Me: I think you're pretty at 3am in your pajamas and bedhead
    Her: So are you going to buy it for me or not
    Me: I'm not
    Her: You're such an ***hole
    Me: And you're a brat now i'm leaving going to the car and driving home, you can either come with me or you can be stranded here with no money for a cab
    Her: i hate you. You never give me anything i want
    She got all teary eyed and was crying in the car
    we get back to our place and she runs into the bedroom and starts crying on the bed. She slams the door.
    Her: Don't talk to me until you apologize
    Me: lemme know when you decide to stop being bratty and get a job to start buying your own stuff.
    Should i just buy it for her? i mean i hate seeing her upset but on the other hand i want to prove to her that i'm not a doormat. I hate conflict. I just want her to be happy but i want the old her back?

  2. #2

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    Hi there,
    Short answer: No!
    Long answer: put it this way, after the last climax of 250 bucks down the drain, you got a nice " You never give me anything i want". Friend, this has to stop until it's not too late. Gifts are for special occasions, birthdays, holidays, even a few surprise ones here and there, but gifts should always reward something (good behavior, good results) as if they don't, the gesture will loose it's meaning, you'll get exaggerations like the one above and it will quickly turn from "rewarding good behavior" to "buying good behavior". More so, this girl needs a serious lesson on the value of money and the importance of hard work. If her being happy equals you coughing out cash, it's not you she wants and sooner or later a bigger paycheck with lesser headaches will pop up. Put a brake on it, don't even allow the puppy eyes routine to begin and see exactly if she'll still be there or not.

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    I have to agree with Slick here: no. I'm not a fan of rewarding bad behavior, especially when that behavior involves someone acting like a small child and throwing a temper tantrum when they don't get what they want. To me, that is not love for you - that's love for "pretty stuff." Does she do any of this stuff for you, or does she simply think you owe it to her to buy her whatever she wants?

    If all you say is true, then my advice is to stick to your guns. She's legally an adult now - if she wants stuff, she can earn it herself. Maybe she'd appreciate her stuff more if she did.
    "Are tangerines really just oranges that didn't want it enough?" - Random Greeting Card

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