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Thread: How long should a break last ?

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    Default Need some hellp please, ex girlfriend broke up with me

    I need some help. a little over a week ago, my ex broke up with me, i didn't see it coming, she said i didn't listen, she always said she wanted to see me more, i saw her about thirty hours a week, but that was only two days, our days off, i've figured out now, that it's too late, that she wanted more days, not hours. we talked it out, i thought everthing was fine, we layed down to sleep, she woke up about four am, and just said "I can't do this anymore". wouldn't talk to me, or look at me, i got dressed, and went downstairs for my shoes, thinking she'd follow, she didn't. left my key to her house on the table, went back up stairs, told her i loved her, and left. then went crazy. i texted her like crazy, even proposed a couple days later, that didn't go well. no yelling or anything like that, but she just made it very clear she was done, tired of felling like she didn't matter, that i didn't care and tired of being put in last place, and she was right, but i didn't see it. she said she told me, and she did, but it was in her way, not a way that caught my attention. but i didn't know it was THIS big. now, i didn't get all my stuff, got some clothes there, my cigar humidor, some dvds, stuff i can live without, but the fact that she hasn't asked me to come for them is good right? i mean she has to see them. she smoked her fist cigar ever with me, walking around the park at nigh, she had to think about that when she sees the humidor right? he hasn't unfriended me on facebook. can i fix this? It's not that i didn't want to spend more time with her, i loved (still do) her. she has a boy, seven years old, we both work third shift, so on the days we had to work, i would have felt like i was taking up the time she got to spend alone with her kid. we never yelled or fought, anything like that, always got along with each other, and our families. I bought the text your ex back program by Michael Fiore, talks about the thirty day no contact rule, i'm about a week with NC, and it freaking sucks so bad. i have started working out, i'm trying to quit smoking, though this may not be the best time for that. Oh, and when i said i proposed, I was planning on it anyway, i a couple of months, she used to WANT to marry me, we talked about it, now, i feel like she dosen't want me around. Please help, thanks

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    Default

    Hi jshupp,

    No contact is the way forward. If she wants to get back together, she will let you know.

    If you want to improve yourself, that's great, maybe you could read the relate book, stop arguing start talking? You should be able to borrow it from the library. However your focus right now should be on you. Sometimes, we don't realise we don't want something until it gets to the point when we are about to get it, i.e. after you talked about getting married, she might have started to see there was too much incompatibility between who you are and what she wants. Only she knows and she's not telling you anything, however it's about her, not you. She has to feel right about it.

    So you need to get on with your life focus on you. If you think you did certain things wrong, like not listening, take action to prevent it in the future, counselling is a good option IMHO.

    Good luck, stay calm, stay centred on you.

    All the best,

    Annita
    "Believe nothing, no matter where you read it, or who said it, no matter if I have said it, unless it agrees with your own reason and your own common sense." Buddha

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    Default How long should a break last ?

    Not good at all
    Upsets me too see break ups

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