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Oh, dear...he seems to be quite the manipulator.
But what concerns me most is his behavior when you told him what you were doing on the conputer. Whether you were being honest or not, whether you were simply acting out of insecurity, it doesn't matter - getting your wife on the floor and choking her is NEVER ok, and it's NEVER justified. Do not let him make you think you deserved it, because nobody does. NEVER stay in a relationship that's physically abusive. One day, he WON't stop. Is this the only time he's ever gotten rough with you?
I really think you should seek some professional help/support to figure out your next move here. Sure, insecurity can ruin relationships and make us make huge mistakes, but at the same time, if something seriously doesn't feel "right" deep in your gut, don't ignore it.
If you feel like you've left anything out, don't worry - you can always post more here. We'll respond as best we can!
Take care, let us know what advice you need.
"Are tangerines really just oranges that didn't want it enough?" - Random Greeting Card