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Thread: Great relationship suddenly gone...

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    AnnetteDix84
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    Oh, dear...he seems to be quite the manipulator.

    But what concerns me most is his behavior when you told him what you were doing on the conputer. Whether you were being honest or not, whether you were simply acting out of insecurity, it doesn't matter - getting your wife on the floor and choking her is NEVER ok, and it's NEVER justified. Do not let him make you think you deserved it, because nobody does. NEVER stay in a relationship that's physically abusive. One day, he WON't stop. Is this the only time he's ever gotten rough with you?

    I really think you should seek some professional help/support to figure out your next move here. Sure, insecurity can ruin relationships and make us make huge mistakes, but at the same time, if something seriously doesn't feel "right" deep in your gut, don't ignore it.

    If you feel like you've left anything out, don't worry - you can always post more here. We'll respond as best we can!

    Take care, let us know what advice you need.
    Kelley
    "Are tangerines really just oranges that didn't want it enough?" - Random Greeting Card

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    Default Great relationship suddenly gone...

    I'm struggling with a recent situation. I met a guy at a work convention. I had no intention of finding someone at this event but we hit it off and it ended up being a great weekend. However, then we both returned home (about 3 hours apart). We continued to talk on the phone and get to know each other. I invited him to attend an event with me one weekend. He did! We had a great time, he stayed all weekend and we were both totally relaxed together. Things seemed to really be heading in a good direction. He was even talking about things we were going to do in the future...I thought that was a good sign. Then all of a sudden I didn't hear from him. We had been talking every evening. I didn't panic at first figuring maybe he just had a busy night. I'm not the clingy type so I'm not one to freak out over something like that. But after multiple nights with no word I began to wonder. So I contacted him with no luck. A few days later I got a message saying he was sorry he had not communicated well but that he just wasn't ready for THIS relationship. I feel blindsided...I really can't see where or when things fell apart. He recently sent me a message saying he doesn't want me to be hurt and that he really wants my friendship. That's even more confusing! I thought a guy saying he just wasn't ready was just his way of blowing me off. Could he really still want to be friends? What changed his mind do suddenly? I'm looking for others outside perspectives on this. Any thoughts??


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    In my experience, the "But I'd still love to be friends with you" line is the consolation prize - it's something someone says to you because they want to soften the blow. 90% of the time, that kind of friendship doesn't stick.

    I've known guys who have done this because they simply don't want to be in a relationship, period. It doesn't necessarily mean you did a bunch of things wrong, it just means that, for whatever reason, he doesn't want to get involved. Of course, he'd be the only one who could tell you what exactly changed his mind - I can't tell you what he's thinking, but my advice is to stay away. Trying to force a "friendship" with someone you have feelings for will only end up harming you more, especially if you think you can eventually make him change his mind. Chances are, you can't change someone's mind or feelings.

    Whether he genuinely wants to be friends or not, I'm not so sure it's in your best interest to do so.
    "Are tangerines really just oranges that didn't want it enough?" - Random Greeting Card

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