Break up in foreign country

[johnson1784]

Hey everyone!

I am a 22 year old guy from Australia, and 4 weeks ago I moved to America to be with my girlfriend. We were only together a couple of months in Europe, and then for 8 months via a long distance relationship.

I spent thousands of dollars in preparation to be with her, 12-month visa, flights, insurance, rent and everything totalling over $4500. I left a comfortable and profitable job, my beautiful family, friends and a place that I love, to be with the woman I love here in America.

Over two years ago, she broke up with her boyfriend which hit her hard. I knew this, and she delayed our relationship because of this. She then insisted she was fine and we became a couple. Everything was going so well and then all of a sudden last night my world came crashing down. She ended things with me after only 4 weeks of being here.

I saw her writing a message draft to her ex, which she hasn't spoken to in months, brought it up with her and she was very good about it. Yesterday I saw her texting a different ex of hers and brought it up, she got defensive and deleted the messages.

Later she broke up with me because she isn't over her ex from two years ago. As I write this, I hold back tears, I literally gave up everything to be with her. She has family, friends, great job, familiarity and a life set up here. I have nothing at all. I gave up everything to be with her, and now I am working a ****ty job, have no money at all, just me and my backpack. I have 11 months left on my visa and don't want to return home yet. I want to make good out of this bad situation. I don't know what to do or who to talk to, so any advice will help please. What the hell do I do? I gave it all up to be with her, she is all I have here in the US. Now I have nothing and no one.


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[Royaltiger]

There are two things that are just not right:

1. You took a very big commitment move when the relationship foundation was not firm enough.

2. It is obvious that your girl (if I can call her that) does not feel at any point of commitment to you. Quite frankly, she is just not into you and your move to US is encroaching her space. You could have a talk with her for clearing the things up but don't expect much. You can't force an individual to fall in love with you.

You are thinking straight. Learn from it without losing your self-respect.

[hanibunny]

That's just f***ed up. Find someone better. She probably isn't over her ex, and wasn't really serious with you to begin with. Better you know now, ornate more time on that girl.

Your oppa is ugly ♡

[vmnz]

I went through something similar but there was marriage and everything. When it ended, I made a decision to avoid her at all costs and make the most of my time in the other country. It was actually liberating and strengthening to be able to just focus on myself. Started off being tough. I passed the time by chatting online in support groups etc. A few months later I just woke up one day and decided I was ready to go home. You're lucky you're only 22. As tough as it feels, I'm 41 and I put 12 years into my situation that I will never get back. It's okay to lose a piece of yourself to someone else, just don't lose any more to your own fears or doubts.

Incidentally I am now remarried, have a kid and a pretty good job. Ironically I'd have none of that if I hadn't gone through that situation.

Good luck mate.

[Asif Javed]

Dear Johnson,

Please update us on what is happening for you. You are unhappy that this has occurred and I feel for you. But this is an opportunity of a lifetime. You have moved across the world! You don't know who you are going to meet! You have the whole of the US to travel in 12 months and you have a work visa which means you can work to support yourself as well as meet new people. The jobs might not be the best, but it will be an experience. And...well...who knows, you might have moved out there for someone, but really...you were meant to meet someone else, who would never go to Oz, so you had to get to her. I can't say what is in store; but I can say...life has a way of working these things out. See vmnz's story above.

All the best,

Annita

I have exactly same feelings for you dear. She was not meant for you and was not genuine. Try to find someone genuine.. Wish you all the best


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