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Thread: Help me

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    Default Help me

    So I really need some help. It's a bit of a long story but if anyone can give me advice or hope with out just saying 'move on' or 'get over him' I would be so grateful.
    Back in November this guy who I knew of from school messaged me on fb as I liked one of his pictures. We got chatting, he asked me if I was seeing anyone and could he have my number. I gave him my number and he kept texting and I decided o really wasn't interested so barely replied apart from to be polite. Over Christmas I got seriously hurt my another guy and thought to myself maybe I will start talking to the other guy as he seems like a good one and there's no harm. We got on so well and chatted day in day out and finally met end of January. We met once a week, he took me to the cinema ( my first ever date, I'm 25) and we held hands, he kissed me for the first time it was lovely. After that my mum booked her wedding for April which I told him about and he really wanted to come to which I said " it's a while off if we're still doing what ever were doing then we will see" he then asked me what we were doing and I said uhh I don't know what are we doing to which he replied " I want to hang out and get to know you but I'm not sure I'm looking for a relationship at the moment, I hope that's not going to be a problem". We started hanging out more and I have to say I have never met anyone I have been able to be just me with, he makes me feel so worthwhile, and happy and we light each other right up. He kept asking to meet me so we met a couple more times. He suddenly went cold. I asked him why one night and he told me that he had got himself into a situation. His best mate who is a girl had told him she liked him and they had been having discussions around starting something up but he wasn't sure he wanted anything with her plus he was having such a good time with me and couldn't walk away from that. I told him to forget me for the time being and to sort things with his friend. He told me he regretted telling me he didn't want w relationship and he could see something happening in the future with me. I've unfortunately hung on these words. Anyway once he told his friend he didn't feel that way we continued hanging out, he cooked for me Valentine's Day we starting staying at each other's places and spoke everyday. Forward wind he came to my mums wedding with all my family, acted like we were together, got on with my family got in all the photos. It was a perfect day. The day after he told me the photos and everything had freaked him out and he needed space. Since then things seem to of got messy as I've been desperate to put a label on it after 4 months but he still says he's not looking for a relationship. After getting so upset I told him last week after he had taken me out for a meal that I'm worried I'm going to get hurt and maybe we should stay platonic. He said he's gutted cause he loves how we are with each other but he understands in the long run. I then left him to have space but didn't hear from him for a week, I went to watch his band play and he looked happy when I walked in and smiled at me. But this female friend of his was there. She was giving me very nasty looks and I saw them smiling to each other when he was singing as he had done to me the previous night at another gig she wasn't at. I had to leave because she made me feel like I shouldn't of been there. He told me they are just friends now and crossing the friends barrier wouldn't of worked but now I'm so anxious. I feel like I've lost him out of my life. How do you get someone interested in you again? Has anyone had this and it had a happy ending for them? Like after space from each other or something? I don't want to move on as he is such a match for me and I've never been so lit up by someone's presence before which I can see in his eyes he feels too. I feel so lost and I'm trying to be strong but I don't want him not in my life. I have told him that and he said " well I'll be here" but I want it back to how it was. I know I asked too many questions, tried to get a label on it too soon, created some fantasy relationship that we weren't in. But now I want to fix things. Please someone tell me it's doable. Thank you everyone xx


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    Dear Binky,

    I'm sorry you feel sad right now. But you need to grieve and move forward. Focus on yourself, what your goals are from life and try to see that you could easily find someone who is more compatible with you and then you'd be wondering what all this fuss about this unsuitable guy was! If he can't love you like you deserve to be loved, he is not for you. Love yourself enough to see you deserve someone who won't play games. Good luck.

    All the best,

    Annita
    "Believe nothing, no matter where you read it, or who said it, no matter if I have said it, unless it agrees with your own reason and your own common sense." Buddha

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