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Thread: Should I give up on this German guy?

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    Default Should I give up on this German guy?

    So I met this guy two months ago online. He's from Germany, and I'm from Asia. He's two years younger than me (I'm 18) and we met through a mutual friend and so we started chatting.

    He introduced himself to me and asked for my number so we could also talk on whatsapp. We talk about almost anything: favourite color, things we like to do, places we'd like to go, etc. I also found out we both love Coldplay. And that time when his family went to Spain on the holidays he took pictures and sent them to me coz I told him I love Spain and he told me about the trip too. This guy is so ****in sweet (and cute as hell) and he uses emojis A LOT and I find it really adorable.

    At first I liked him as a friend but I wasn't attracted to him that time coz I liked someone else from the USA. We talk everyday and one time I fell asleep on him and the next morning I found out he stayed up all night coz he "didn't wanna go to sleep without me saying good night."

    He was always there, and during the times I wasn't on he would look for me. And when my grandma passed away he was with me, told me how sorry he was and that if I need anything I should call him and he'd always be there. He was just unbelievably nice and sweet it's impossible not to fall for him. So I did fell for him.

    He knows I really like him tho, and I'm really open about my feelings. I tell him how amazing he is and how I love him so much. He tells me the same too. He tells me he loves me tho HE HASN'T TOLD ME HE LIKES ME.

    And then from normal chats we tried roleplaying. It went from clean to dirty RPs. I haven't done anything like that in my life tho but I didn't wanna disappoint him so I kinda just went on with it and didn't tell him the RPs were making me really uncomfortable at times. Everything's just perfect and he was much more sweeter than before so that made me love him more.

    But then earlier this month I felt like he's kinda changed. I noticed he doesn't stay up til 4 am anymore just to talk to me (he always does) and he just falls asleep on me (he never goes to sleep without telling me and without saying good night). He still uses those adorable emojis but not a lot now. And I've noticed that all we do is rp like 90% of the time. I've also observed that during normal convos it'll take minutes (or hours) for him to reply but when we rp he replies really really fast. Idk but I have this feeling he only now wants me for those.

    He's really changed. He's not the guy I fell in love with anymore. I've thought about giving him up a lot of times tho coz I don't wanna be a fool anymore, but everytime I try giving up he'd randomly send me these really sweet texts and he tells me he loves me so damn much and he doesn't want me to leave him and it only makes me hold onto him more. And we're not even dating or anything. He apologizes for his late replies tho and tells me reasons why. He seenzones me sometimes and it ****ing hurts. I've never told him I cried coz of him, or how much he's changed, or that he's hurt me a lot of times.

    What should I do? Should I give up on this German guy? Should I give him another chance? Please help me coz I honestly don't know what to do. Advice from guys would be really helpful. Or from girls who'd been in the same situation as me. Thank you.

    P.S : I know he's fooled me with words but idk I find it hard to just let him go

    Sent from my SM-J100ML using Tapatalk

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    Dear thisgirlnj,

    I think you know what you need to do. This isn't real and it's stopping you from living in the real world. Long distance is hard. Even if you have met and are in a long term relationship. Without having met and actually been together.... it's not really possible in my view. It's easy to believe something untrue online nowadays. I suggest you let go of your German fantasy and look for someone closer to home, real and who can go out and enjoy the world with you in person. Someone you can build a life with.

    Good luck.

    All the best,
    Annita
    "Believe nothing, no matter where you read it, or who said it, no matter if I have said it, unless it agrees with your own reason and your own common sense." Buddha

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    hey there-
    I have to agree too. I think we need real physical contact with the people were with. it sounds like you've never met him in person right? I think pushing yourself to go out and explore different activities or hobbies you enjoy would be a natural way to meet new people. it feels hard because you've shared a lot of yourself with this person, but try and keep an open heart to other people. this doesn't sound like something that could continue unless one of you moves.

    also, you could invite him to Asia and see how he responds~



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