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Thread: The scariest kind of alone...

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    Default The scariest kind of alone...

    I'm 27 with three beautiful daughters and share a happy life and home with a wonderful man. A kind, intelligent, forgiving and patient man. Brought up with teachings of the Lord and strong moral values. I was raised as an only child by a single parent who strugged with a painful past of abuse and couldn't focus on parenthood. We moved a lot and I basically raised myself since I was 10. We never had good family bonds or close friends that I could look up to. Up until a few years ago I was looking to feel love in the wrong ways. Basically ruining this current relationship and damaging it irreversibly. We eventually reconciled and it's better than I could have ever imagined.
    I feel as though no one ever trusts me, or has faith in who I am, and are still becoming because of choices I had made when I was younger. I don't feel as though I'm very book smart, and that is always one of my biggest flaws and issues when meeting new people. I never feel like I'm going to fit in. I'm not tech savvy, or up with the latest trends in style or music. I can be pretty random and weird. And I actually don't mind who I am. Trying to maintain and create relationships has become an increasingly big problem in my life though. I'm currently still trying to learn and be someone that should have been molded years ago. But because I made so many mistakes on the way here I have no one. No one to trust my feelings with because I get made fun of, or get advice that doesn't really benefit my well being because, idk theres just something about me people don't want. I'd give the shirt off my back and drop whatever to be there for the people I love, but I don't feel the same love in return.
    Maybe I haven't finished this process of growing and healing but I've made so many great strides to feel the love I'm so desperate for.
    Idk how much longer i can go at it like this...How could I be so unlovable?

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    Do you feel your are purposely trying to not be loved? What makes you think you aren't loveable?

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    "We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, therefore, is not an act but a habit." -Aristotle

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