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Thread: Christians living together & not married

  1. #1
    thehippie777
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    Default Christians living together & not married

    My boyfriend and I have both been divorced. We are practicing Christians (meaning we read the Bible, pray, etc). We are not married, however, and live together. I have had some negative responses from my family (although they have accepted the situation even if they don't like it) and I am afraid of negative responses from Christians who don't believe in living together before marriage.

    My boyfriend and I both got married before for some wrong reasons and those marriages did not work out. We are in no hurry to marry again because of being burned so bad. We have many reasons why we are living together unmarried. One of them being we believe ourselves to be married and do not need a paper from the county government saying we are.

    My boyfriend has been attending a church lately. I am afraid to go. I have never done well in churches...well because of people. lol I used to be a very loyal church-goer, but I was met with Christians who seemed to be more likely to display what was wrong with me then just love and support me.

    I kind of want to start attending this church as well, but I am afraid of the reaction I will get. My boyfriend says I shouldn't care what they say to me, but I know it will hurt. Women can sometimes be far more cruel then men, especially in the matter of Christian women having sex outside of marriage.

    So...what do you all think?

  2. #2
    xxSPHYNXxx
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    I believe we cannot and should not live our life for others. If you and your boyfriend are happy in the arrangement at hand than good for you! I find one of the things that upsets me most is "judgmental" people... then I take a step back and think, who are they to judge anyone? Its our life!

    Be happy and confident in your "skin"... live life to its fullest without regrets!

    Goodluck to you and your boyfriend.

    xxSPHYNXxx

  3. #3
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    theHippie,


    Hello and I am sorry for your current situation. Regardless of what others think or say, you need to be 100% happy with who you are, your values and what you stand for. No matter what church you attend, you need worship the way you see fit. Just because some old ladies in a church want to possibly start rumors or try and make you feel guilty about your living arragements, let it go.

    People are going to try and do what they can to make themselves look beter ESPECIALLY in churches. God knows what's in your heart and how you feel. If God is ok with it, then ANYONE should be ok with it.

    If you and your boyfriend want to live together, then so be it. Who is anyone to judge you regardless? Keep the faith and just learn to be a better Christian than those that just want to be seen as such.


    Take care and thanks for posting.


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    "We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, therefore, is not an act but a habit." -Aristotle

  4. #4
    suzie q
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    i feel too often that many christians i've met focus on what a bad thing others are doing rather than being uplifting. i'm pretty sure that's NOT what jesus would do.

    it is not 1910 anymore. people live together before marriage. this happens. you seem to be very happy, isn't that what matters? are you hurting anyone else? nope.

    any religion i've studied has a common thread and that's love. unconditional love. we are called to love everyone, not those who we think are doing right. who are we to judge?

    i've been thinking a lot about going back to church, too, but have had some negative experiences at previous churches where i was a member, so it's tough. personally, i want to discover the lord on my own--church has been a desire because i love the fellowship. i say give the church a try! you never know, it could be just what's missing.

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    I agree with everyone else here - live for you, and not for them. It is not their place to judge you, and any church in which its members of offer judgement instead of a warm community is, in my opinion, not a church worth attending - that's not what church is about.

    Mind you, religion is not something I ever grew up with or practiced, so take this post for what you will.

  6. #6
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    "He who is without faults, cast the first stone" is what I would answer them if they were judging me.

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