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I would agree, Leinad. You can't stay with someone only because you don't want to hurt them. If you're not happy in a relationship, you can't make them happy, either. Sometimes they do realize what they do to some people, and sometimes they don't. But the other person is not who usually who they're thinking of, to be honest - they're trying to do what they feel is best for THEM.
It does feel like the person who left you is stupid for leaving you, and maybe they are. But I think Leinad's right - those of us who get left tend to victimize ourselves, even though it's rarely ever just ONE person's fault that the relationship ended. Since there are two people involved, they both contribute to the end of it. If you're still allowing yourself to feel angry and indignant after many months or even years, you can't blame the person who is no longer there anymore. They're gone and not coming back. It sucks, but if you continue to let the negative feelings take over when you think about it, then you're really not going to be good for a relationship with anyone else.
That being said, I still like Niki's letter - it was written during that angry stage and what it shows is a strong person who's not afraid to articulate herself and who is capapble of surviving adversity. Go, Niki!
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