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Thread: How long?

  1. #1
    Romi
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    Default How long?

    Ok so, I've been trying to be by myself for a wile but I'm still going out with my friends and trying to have a good time... Well 2 weeks ago I met a guy at a bar and we started talking. We talked all that night long until my friends wanted to leave the bar and he asked me for my number. I gave it to him and he called me the next day and asked me to go dinner... We had a great time together, got along but the problem was that he lives in Germany and he was leaving my country in 10 days... I told him that I wasn't interested in meeting him because If I met someone was because I wanted something long term (also I had a bad experience with a European guy before and I didn't want the same this time so I decided to protect myself)... He asked me for a chance and told me that time is gold in these cases... He was really interested in me, so I gave it to him and we started going out a lot until he left.

    Well He started to tell me that it was a long time since he felt that way with a girl and it just felt great with me, like we fix together blah blah... He seems to be sincere... But what I didn't like was that he started pushing me to have sex before he leaves the country. And I didn't want to. I'm one of those girls that needs time to know the other person and then going to the next phase...

    I only met this guy for 10 days. He was really great and we went out a lot in those 10 days but I didn't want to have sex with him because I felt I wasn't ready and he left.

    I don't regret my decision but I'm just wandering if it's normal for me (I'm 29), to reject a guy for sex because I only met him for 10 days...
    What do you guys think?

    Thx in advance

    Romi

  2. #2
    xxSPHYNXxx
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    Romi~

    I believe its a decision that has to be made by the individuals involved...You had other factors involved as well...Him going back to Germany being one...what it comes down to is what YOU feel/want....don't compromise your morals/values/judgements/decisions it will only leave you with disappointment and regret...

    Pushing for sex before he left your country speaks for itself as well! Don't be anyone's "play toy", in the morning you have to like/love what you see when you look in that mirror!

    Your a wonderful woman, don't compromise who "you" are....

    And, to answer your question....I myself am very proud of you...

    xxSPHYNXxx

  3. #3
    JTV2008
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    Romi, ANY time line you wish is normal! I'm glad you didn't give in to this guy if you weren't comfortable with it.

    I'm like you ..... I've never been one to hop into bed with someone on a casual basis. I'm proud of you for sticking to your beliefs and not letting someone pressure you!

  4. #4
    suzie q
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    i agree with these ladies!

    you should never sleep with someone until you're totally comfortable doing so. i have had moments in my life - generally on the rebound - where i did things i'm not particularly proud of. i wouldn't change those moments because i've learned from them, but i know now that my idea of respecting myself is waiting until i'm comfortable with a guy 100%.

    plus, it's kinda funny to see them wait it out. haha. a little mystery never killed a man.

    stay within your own comfort zone on this subject. no one else's idea of when you should do it matters. it's all about you

  5. #5
    suzie q
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    oh, and i'm proud of you too! forgot to say that

  6. #6
    Romi
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    Thanks girls for your answers!
    Just like I said before, I don't regret my decision, and I can't change the way I am...
    This guy left last sunday and he's writing everyday so I think it's like Suzie say: A little mystery never killed a man.

    Now, a question a little different: How long do you think it's good enough to wait until you sleep with someone if you, of course, see that the guy is showing consistent interest and you see him on regular basis????

    Girl's in my country are "easy". Don't get me wrong, I'm not judging anyone but from my point of view for example a week it's not enough time to meet someone...

  7. #7
    thatdoggirl
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    Honestly, the answer is different for everyone depending on their views. There is nothing wrong in waiting or not waiting. It's BOTH people's choice.

    In my experience, I've only had one bf in my life and 3 days after we started hanging out was our first kiss and then it was a little over a month before we decided to have sex although we were doing other stuff before that.

    There is someone I know that she had sex with her bf the day they met... before they started going out and that are in a LDR kind of. 2 hours away so they still see each other. They have been together for over 2 years.

    Then there are some people out there who wait months.

    Also, I know a friend of my mom's never had sex to this day because she is waiting til marriage and she is in her 30's.

    So it all depends on the person and what they want and are comfortable with.

  8. #8
    JTV2008
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    I agree with TDG. There is no right or wrong, it's whatever both parties are most comfortable with.

  9. #9
    xxSPHYNXxx
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    Romi~

    Its a personal decision and it also depends on how deep the feelings are for the partner. Some relationships take time to form, and in my opinion, lovemaking is a way to express love to the partner and it also strengthens the bond.

    Some relationships have an undeniable force, as you have read many threads, some fall head over heals in <you fill in the blank> while others have taken much longer...it just depends on the partners, the relationship they have, the feelings, etc.

    Then.... we have the FWB which is a whole other topic!

    xxSPHYNXxx

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