I'm sorry things didn't work out between us. I'm sorry if I hurt you in any way. I'm sorry that I have to live with this pain everyday. It's killing me. I have read story after story about breakups and what people go through trying to cope with the loss of a loved one. I have experienced death in my family and I've been to funerals for friends' loved ones. I've felt the pain of death and I've seen the pain in the eyes of loved ones after a death. I know how I felt when I lost my grandfather and then my cousin. I remember the pain and the tears that filled my days. But that was final. They weren't coming back. And I know I loved them and they loved me. I don't know if you'll come back. You haven't given any indication that you will. The pain and tears that fill my days now are much different. I know I love you, but I don't know if you love me. I wish, some how, some way, you could feel my love and at the very least give me some sort of feedback. I don't care if you don't love me, just tell me so I can let go of this hope and more importantly this pain. I debate calling you all the time. I need closure, but sometimes I feel like I'm the villain in all of this and that I need to leave you alone. I've heard it all from friends and family. "It's her loss," "She'll regret this one day," "She needs a kick in the butt," "We'll never be friends with her again," "This is going to hit her in the face one day." Those should make me happy. But they don't. I don't want you to get hurt by your decision. I don't want there to be regret. I don't want to get over you and then have you try to come back to me when it's too late. I don't want anything but happiness for you. I just wish I was the one that could provide that for you. Or at least help you in your pursuit of happiness. I can't listen to the radio without thinking about you. I can't watch t.v. without seeing something that reminds me of you. I can't watch a movie without thinking of you. I drove over the bridge the other day and it reminded me of our long drives to grad school. You are in my thoughts and in my heart always. I love you so much that I can't even put it into words. But you're gone. And I'm left hear saying, "I'm sorry."
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