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Thread: The No Contact Challenge -SuperDave71

  1. #31
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    P.S., if you don't want to call me "Coffee," my real name is Kelley.

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    Quote Originally Posted by OhManINeedCoffee View Post
    Either way, I'm really starting to feel that I don't deserve to be treated like this by someone who claimed to be my friend no matter what. With that in mind, I'm not so sure I'd want him back if he changed his mind about me. Of all the people in his life giving him trouble, I was not one of them. I was the one making him laugh, listening to him vent, and offering to beat up whoever was treating him unfairly those last few weeks. I want someone who's going to really appreciate that about me, rather than become cold and insensitive in order to protect himself from...god knows what.


    I wouldn't slap yourself on the wrist, you are in a precarious situation right now. You are going to have times when you sway to the other side more than the other....We just need to get this pendulum swinging back towards you! What you said just a moment ago is a step in the right direction thats for sure. Keep your chin up your doing great!

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    Ok Kelley it is then!

  4. #34
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    Day 8

    I felt really good this morning after surviving day 7. I slept great for the first time in a really long time. I thank all of you for that! I still had my moments today but overall things went ok. I had a great run tonight, so I'm ending on a positive note. I hope everyone is doing good!
    -Joe

    JTV- I think you did the right thing. If you don't want to go you don't have to. Kelley is right, if he is just out of a marriage, he'll probably need some time to get himself together. Thanks again for your support yesterday.

    Kelley- Josh is exactly right, it sounds like you are going in the right direction. Keep it up!

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    Hey Joe- I still have my moments as well man...I look at it as climbing a ladder trying to get out of a hole. Sure I may slip down a few rungs but I will never slide all the way down. If I do slip I know in time I will make up for it and eventually get to my over all goal...Getting out of the whole Im in....So hang in there

    Again sorry for my crap analogies, they work for me lol

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    Quote Originally Posted by OhManINeedCoffee View Post
    P.S., if you don't want to call me "Coffee," my real name is Kelley.
    LOL. My bad.

    Hmm... by habit I've associated the name "Kelly" in a negative light just because of one of my bf's ex's that I'm not so found of. Which I happened to fall into my terrible trap or peeking at her myspace today but luckily it was filled with pics of her and her husband's wedding recently so it did make me feel a little bit better but I need to STOP looking at her myspace even if it's every once in a while. BAD BAD BAD. "Myspace is the devil." Hehe.

    But luckily, you're name isn't Kelly... your name is Kelley! So much cooler! Haha.

    As for the breaking contact with the library thing, you are so right when you say that you need someone who will be a friend to you no matter what. Instead you're just kind of on pins and needles writing to him and hoping that it didn't sound "relationshippy" and hoping that he'd at least respond. That type of friendship sounds a little too one sided to me. You deserve a better friend then that.

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    Hey Josh...Don't worry man, I understand your analogies. I'm glad you had a good time last night. A confidence boost is a great thing. I could really use one about now...

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    Day 17
    I have this fear that I can't shake off, I've had it since last night. I'm not sure what it is about but thoughts of ex wont leave me alone not even for a minute, and a fear that he is already seeing someone new. I surely don't know if he is or is not but it's been over a month already since he broke off with me so ..

    And to make matters worse, he sent me an email. I just read it, I don't know if I should have or not but he was just asking me about my work and how am I doing, how is my life. Telling me that he is okay but tight on money. And he ended the message with a sentence "let's not completely forget each other" As if I could ..

    So I can't respond to him?? Wont he think I'm a cold hearted b*tch who doesn't care at all. Especially now when he's having a hard time. Well .. he doesn't seem to care much about me either so .. why should I?
    Last edited by Broken Rain; 11-25-2008 at 04:06 AM. Reason: lol I can't type anymore :P

  9. #39
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    Update: I haven't responded to him so I just got another message. Asking "why the silence towards him?". LOL, what the hell he expects from me that I'll just jump and write him back instantly. I did so when we were still together, but we're not anymore. Now I may be busy with life, work .. whatever.

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    You're still trying to heal. I don't see how it would do any good to write back when you are still trying to get you back. If the hope is still there then it's just not a good idea. I know it seems b*tchy but it's not! There is nothing wrong with NC because you have a right to be a bit selfish in order to focus on getting better.

  11. #41
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    Yea I guess you're right. It's just so not me, I feel weird 'cause I've always wrote back but now .. I don't even want to. I know that if he gets what he wants, he'll just go away again for few weeks only to return with the same questions and I'll just feel bad 'cause I still want more. Uh, I never knew being selfish could be this hard.

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    Question: But doesn't this kind of behaviour just push him even further away? I wouldn't want that .. I'm so confused lol :/

  13. #43
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    Broken- He broke up with you, you do not have to respond at all if you dont want to. All your doing by not responding is looking out for your best interests in mind. If he wanted to have you in his life for the good times and the bad he would not have ended it with you. Show him that by not being his crutch any time he needs one..You deserve better than that. You are doing fine, and if you really feel the need to write him come on here and post a blog about it instead.

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    Thanks thirdeyevest, I hear ya and you're right *sits on hands lol*

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    Your kind of behavior is th total opposite...It is giving him the time and space to miss you. You cant miss something you never lose.... If you were to always respond and be there for him has he actually lost you? Give him a chance to miss you and If he never comes around then thats ok too because if that happens, you will have found happiness in yourself by that time.

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