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Thread: When their heart belongs to another

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    Default When their heart belongs to another

    So a friend suggested this site, I've lurked for a bit and everyone here seems so helpful and supportive that I think she is right and this is a great place to come to heal and deal. Here is my story sorry it's a bit long:

    My bf and i have been together for about 2 years, not the smoothest relationship alot of the time but I loved him and wanted to make things work... after about a year we broke up for a couple of months (he'd lied about his continued involvement with his ex, although swore it was just as friends and nothing else) I couldn't tolreate the lying and we split. Two months later he called and we staarted talking discussed eveything that happened and he apologized said he wanted to try again..

    I wasn't sure, but agreed to continue to talk. This went on for a few weeks then we met for dinner and decided to try again. He seemed like a changed person was very attentive, considerate, everything I had thoughrt he was.

    Then I went to his place a month ago (we spent our time at my house) for the first time after gettting back together and saw he had pictures of this ex stilldisplayed in his house several I'd seen before but one was new.... I was upset but didn't say anytihng right then as we were having dinner with some friends and they were there too.. When we got back to his place he'd moved one of the pics and replaced it I asked him about it and he said it didn't mean anything and he'd forgotten it was there, swore there wasnothing going on and that he had no feelings for her etc.... Said he would put them away for good... a week later there were still there, so he took them down that night... but only becasue it was such an issue for me...

    The next morning I was making the bed and knocked some paperwork off the nightstand, found a valentines card from the ex from this year... To say the least I was shocked and hurt... I asked him about it and he said it wasn't what I thought (he was always saying that) I told him I thought we made a mistake in getting back together and left... we talked a couple of days later, same conversation his swearing it' not what I think etc..I love him so I tried to get past it even when my gut was SCREAMING get out know.. Although I did tell him I wasn't comfortable at his place and didn't want to be there for now...

    He said that we couldn't live like that and had to work things out about my being at his place.... Som I was agreed to go there this past Friday night, forwhatever reason he chose to not keep these plans.... When he finally called me at 10 that night he apologized said he was having a bad day and had to help a friend and then stayed for dinner (the friend is his ex's relative)
    and she was there... I blew up, we argued... resolved nothing...
    Met yesterday, and to my shock he finally said the following:

    My heart belongs to someone else, he loved talking to me and spending time with me even I want things to work with you but I don't love you (he'd told me he had a several occasions)... I asked him about why he said he did if he didn't, his reply was it's what you wanted to hear (ouch!)Doesn't want to hurt me anymore (thanks after two years for caring I thought)
    we left things as we would both take a few days to think about things... Said it was upto me what we did from here... I know this is the end, it has to be staying with him would be for his benefit only but I'm so hurt....

    DOn't know what to do other then get away as fast as I can with some self-respect in tact... but it's killing me....

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    Wonderingwhy -

    First of all, welcome! I'm glad your friend directed you here, because this really is a great place to come for relationship support of any kind.

    Second of all, I'm so sorry you're going through this - it's a real slap in the face when someone you love tells you, "I don't love you - I love someone else." You feel like it should kill you instantly.

    As for walking away with self-respect intact, I think doing just that - walking away - is the best option. It's probably the hardest possible thing to do, too. But at the same time, you don't want to try to work things out with someone who doesn't love you and whose heart isn't in it. And, sometimes, you have to love someone enough to give them what they want - even if it isn't what you want. In order to help YOU, NC might be the best way to go. I don't know if he's mentioned wanting to "stay friends" or not, but I don't think it'd be good for you to do that right now - you're hurting badly and you need to heal.

    While it's good that he was straightforward with you (eventually, anyway), I know how much it hurts when someone drops that bomb on you. You're in shell shock for a few weeks and then you just hurt. However, the one positive thing is - thought you don't feel like it now - you WILL feel better. There are so many of us here on this forum who have been exactly where you are right now, and we know what it's like. I know you'll be hurting for awhile, and we're ALWAYS here when you need support as you go through this.

    Hang in there,
    Kelley
    "Are tangerines really just oranges that didn't want it enough?" - Random Greeting Card

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    Hi Wonderingwhy and welcome to the forum.

    Kelley has given some great advice and I mirror exactly what she is saying here.

    I'm sure you're hurting pretty bad right now, and it will take time for you to feel human again. The fastest way to get to that point is to throw the focus straight onto you.

    It sounds like you have put up with constant lies and betrayal from the man who initially claimed he loved you. So when will you allow yourself to find the true happiness you deserve? Noone needs to feel second best, not when there are almost 7 billion people in this world. 'Settling' shouldn't be an option for any of us.

    As painful as this is for you, I guess we have to admire his honesty now, however late it may be. At least you now know how he really feels and you can use that to try and move forward. For many of us on this forum, we never heard the 'I don't love you' words to enable us to stop kidding ourselves that they still did. That in itself may help you to let go of the 'what if's' a little faster than always wondering.

    You're absolutely right to walk away now with your self-respect. You're worth far more than you probably feel right now. Never waste your tears, time or energy who wouldn't do the same for you. The last thing you need now is constant reminders of your relationship, and 'the someone else' who owns his heart rubbed in your face.

    On another note, don't torture yourself that you never meant anything to him. I think you already know that isn't true. Just because he doesn't love you now, doesn't mean he never did. People change, feelings change, situations change.

    You're in shock right now, and I'm sure the pain is unbearable, but the intensity of that pain will lessen I promise. But to constantly see him and hear things will not help your healing hon. If you can get yourself away from him and the entire situation, you should, for your own sanity and to allow yourself the space to detach.

    We're here if you need us, hugs to you,
    -Peace
    Dan

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    Hi Dan and Kelley,

    THank you so much for your kind and supportive words, I'm going directly into NC, its the best thing fo rme right now...

    I do appreciate his honesty hoswer late it was in coming and I do know he cared for me in his way, but the words still hurt, even if I did know in my heart this was the truth.

    He did say he wanted to keep me in his life that theres so much about me he likes, that the best part of his day was making me laugh... It was the best part of mine too.. But I can't be his friend and he knows that...and so do I...

    I'm hoping hearing those words will help me move on faster because I can't feel like this for long...

    Thank you both again for your kind words and support....

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    Sweeheart, the fastest way to move on is to focus on you and try not to engage in a thought process that will drag you back down.

    I'm sure you both can be friends at some point in the future, but for now, it will not help you one bit. Do not allow him to 'keep the bits he likes' to cushion HIS fall. He needs to accept the consequences of his actions, and that includes respecting you enough to leave you to heal right now. Even if making you laugh makes him feel better, tough. Making you laugh may make you feel ok short term, but it will only delay your healing.

    Once you're heart has healed, I'm sure the two of you can enjoy a good friendship once more, but right now it's not the right thing for you hon. I know you know that, I guess I'm just concerned that your vulnerability will allow him his 'bits he likes'.

    *More Hugs*
    -Peace
    Dan

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    Hi Dan:

    Thank you again, I agree I'm too vulnerable right now to be around him in any way... He called todayand I let it go to VM, but so badly wanted to call back... Instead I called a friend and chatted til the feeling passed...

    I'm hoping this will go by faster if I focus on me as you said and just get busy with work and other things... So easy to say so hard to do when every minute seems consumed with whys, and what ifs. which I know won't do me any good...

    Thats why I posted my burning quesiton of the day to the boards here maybe other opinions willl help me accept the truth and stay strong..

    This stuff is hard...

    Thanks again you seem like a great person and I'm grateful you took the time to respond to me again...

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    Wonderingwhy -

    I'm glad you decided to call a friend instead - that's a great way to switch your focus. My best advice is to spend as much time with your friends/family as possible. You need to be around people who make you feel good - it helped me so much when I was going through my break up. Any time I talked to the ex or tried to talk to him, I felt so much worse for a couple of days. I think a lot of us here have learned that the hard way.

    The whys and what ifs are normal. We all want to know the answers to those questions, but the truth is, the more answers you get, the more questions you'll have. The best way to give yourself closure is to make your own. It sounds like he was at least (eventually) honest with you, which I think can be more helpful than we realize when it happens to us. There's something about us that wants to blame ourselves for it, and wonder what's wrong with us - how could we be rejected like that?

    If you ever find yourself heading toward that "what's wrong with me??" road, stop yourself! From the sounds of it, his reasons for leaving have nothing to do with you at all - it's to do with someone else he never got over. And I guarantee you this wasn't easy for him, either.

    Try to keep in mind that even though he didn't give you wanted/needed, that just means there's somebody else who can and will.

    Hugs!

    Kelley
    "Are tangerines really just oranges that didn't want it enough?" - Random Greeting Card

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    you did good. I think he is a liar.

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    Hi wonderingwhy and welcome to the LL.

    Reading your story I got the feeling that your bf never got over his ex. Even though he knew they could never be a couple again, he could not let go.

    She made that happen because she was still in contact with him keeping him as a friend while he still had feelings for her.
    He tried to be with someone else (you) but he probably never felt the same way for you as he did for her. He liked you enough to keep you around (for his needs) but he wasn't really in love with you.
    In the two years you were together you had many fights about him and the ex. I think you were patient enough. Two years is a long time and if he is still not over her now I don't think he will be in the near future.

    I know you hurt like hell right now but I'm glad he was finaly honest with you and you can work from there.
    It will take some time to heal, but you WILL get better, I promise. The better you keep at NC, the sooner you will heal. Keep as busy as you can and whenever you feel like contacting him just come here and post. We will help you trough it.

    Stay strong.
    Hugs

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    Hi Kelley:

    Thanks again for your comments, You really hit a nerve with your comment of what did I do wrong? that thought will drive me crazy!! To be honest I've thought that and more what is it about her that I don't get? Given all the bad things he said and all that she cost him, he's still going to let this stop him... But I can't do anything about that now... And I can't and won't waste anymore time on him or wallowing... Any tears I cry will be for me and thoses (hopefully) will be done with quickly...

    I'm beginning to think he did me a huge favor and while I'm really hurt and angry I know this would have happened eventually better now then in another 2 years...

    I've given him enogh time to get me back and I feel so much stronger reading your words of support....

    Hope you are having a great week...

    ---------- Post added at 04:20 PM ---------- Previous post was at 04:16 PM ----------

    Silverstar,

    Thank you for your words of support and compassion, coming here has been a great decision for me...

    She was very onvolved in his life calling for all sorts of reasons... but noneof that matters... It was his choice to keep her around and in his life like he did so...

    I'm glad he finally came clean too... It hurt like hell to hear it but at least I know I'm not this crazy, distrustful person and my instincts are good... Biggest lesson I've lerned is to NEVER ignore my gut again... And get out when it's saying to RUN....

    Today is day 2 and I'm hanging in there actually feeling pretty okay not going to analyze it just be grateful that gutwrenching feeling has subsided for the moment...

    I wil definitely come hear for support perspective and sanity you all seem so wonderful on here...

    Thanks again...

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    Any idea's why he would call me after all this? I didnt' answer... I mean really? How is this going to help either one of us? Argggghhhhhh

    So want to say look your heart belongs to her so should the rest of you GO AWAY!!!

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    Well, his ongoing attention towards you might be either because he wants to befriend and keep you around, either because he's unsure/sick/unhappy/unsatisfied with his current position in his "real love"'s heart and wants you as a safety net...keep away girl, you deserve more than someone else's scraps and half-measures aren't the path to happyness
    "What you won't let die, won't let you live "

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    In my experience from my breakup, I think there are several reasons that an ex may try to contact you even after they've broken up with you.

    1. They feel guilty and want to see if you're okay.
    2. They want to make sure you don't forget them (as if you COULD even if you wanted to).
    3. They're feeling lonely/insecure/whatever and need an ego boost.
    4. They're not used to "life without you" and don't want to let go of the things they liked about the relationship.
    5. Some sort of practical "strictly business" matter - financial things, belongings left at someone's place, etc.
    6. They are not aware of how important the No Contact rule is!!

    Or it could be a combination. It's hard to keep this in mind, but I think it's also important: a lot of times a break up is every bit as difficult for the "dumper" as it is for the "dumpee." It's easy to be mad at them, hate them, make a voodoo doll of them and push little pins into it for what they did, but in the end, the dumpers (and I'm not necessarily counting all the "psycho dumpers" we always hear about) are aware that they've hurt someone they had cared about, and if you're a normally-functioning human being, you tend to pretty bad for doing it.

    My ex still talks to me because I am "too amazing to let go." While I tend to agree (), I can handle talking to him now because I come to realize that he did what he felt he had to do in the end. He may have been a little bit of a jerk about it at times, but that's his problem - not mine. I can handle it now and not feel bad about myself when we're done talking because I've let go of our past together. What's done is done, and what is meant to be will be.

    I know I've been rambling, but I used to wonder the EXACT same thing whenever my ex contacted me.
    "Are tangerines really just oranges that didn't want it enough?" - Random Greeting Card

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    Hi Slick:

    Thanks for your input, I am sure it's because he's looking to keep me around in some capacity actually he said pretty much that the day this all happened... That while he feels this way he deosn't want me to be out of his life felt that he needed to tell me what was really going on so I would understand and could make my own choice in staying involved with him...

    Can anyone say Plan B? Maybe you should have told me thisd 2 years ago?

    Anyway thanks for your response and opinion....It helps to hear it from others to stay strong...

    ---------- Post added at 06:49 PM ---------- Previous post was at 06:45 PM ----------

    Coffe:

    THank you for your response as well, EVERYTHING you said is so true about him.. His calling is to make himself feel better, it's got nothing to do with me... If it did I pry wouldn't be here now...

    He left a message haven'tlistened to it yet but I'm sure it's about how he needs something had a bad day etc... And talking to me will make it all go away...

    I know that right now I need to stay away and take care of me, that seems to be a strong theme on here and I'm grabbing on and runing with it for all that I'm worth...

    Thanks again...

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    well i have to agree with what Kelley said there, but from my experience, most of the times selfish motives are involved and not altruistic ones ...yes, i would like to think now that his motives are pure and he only cares about you beeing happy, but my realistic part of the brain pulls out the sex-card : i strongly don't belive his "real love" is giving him sex (wouldn't that be a tough revelation to find out ?), and let's face it , men are hound dogs for sex- so my dillema, and the reason i say he's not such the "altruistic"type is the fact that he didn't want you as the "friend" but as the partener (wich involves sex)...in the end, keeping contact in most cases has a selfish foundation and not an altruistic one (that's my take )
    "What you won't let die, won't let you live "

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