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Thread: Just long enough ...

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    Default Did he stay just long enough to make sure?

    I found out I was pregnant by my ex. I had an IUD that had dislodged, so were using a contraceptive method - it just failed. When I told him he told me how he always wanted children how much he loved me but that he couldn't have children outside of the kind of relationship we could never have (he and I). Maybe that was honest and I should appreciate it. It still hurt to hear "I want all of this, just not with you." We talked about it and decided on a medical abortion, which basically means you take oral medication 24 hours apart and then have a miscarriage. So he acted considerate and as if he was trying to be there for me for this - he got a hotel room near the clinic and took me to the appointment, etc. He was there at the clinic when they gave me the first pills and we went to the hotel together. He was there when I took the second set of pills, but left early in the morning while I was still miscarrying. He had to go teach a class he teaches. I was hurt that he didn't cancel or get a substitute, because he knew I'd be in the middle of the worst part at that time. He had already told me that on that day (or rather evening) he "had to" go to a "birthday thing" for a friend. And so he did. He left that morning for his class, leaving me alone and bleeding at the hotel. He didn't return until 2 hours after I had to check out, and then he went with his "friends" to a drinking festival of sorts.He had already told me that on that day (or rather evening) he "had to" go to a "birthday thing" for a friend. And so he did. He left that morning for his class, leaving me alone and bleeding at the hotel. He didn't return until 2 hours after I had to check out, and then he went with his "friends" to a drinking festival of sorts. He wasn't online or available by phone all night. He called twice, the second time to say he couldn't get off the couch so couldn't come be with me. I know he got off the couch to go out and stayed out all night. I don't know, we aren't dating anymore - but it really hurt because it feels like he stuck around just long enough to make sure I'd taken the second set of pills and was miscarrying, and then he split. Also, the first night at the hotel we had sex and he said all these mushy, sentimental things that gave me false hope, but afterwards he withdrew from me emotionally for the second night. I admit I wanted the sex - I was feeling alone and afraid and still had feelings for him. I guess for me it was about love and for him it was just sex. I felt hurt and used and so so sad. The weird thing was he kept going on and on about how he can't stand men who try to use me for sex. Isn't that what he did too? He's a jerk, right? What is wrong with me?

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    Hello Colima

    From my male point of view, i must say you are pretty right and he was just playing along for the safety...he knew the 24 hours miscarriage procedure but this didn't stop him from planning 2 steps ahead,as yes he did stayed with you , but didn't go out of his way and compromise his professional life (the classes incident) or his social life (the drinking with his friends story)....add to that the sexual encounter with all the mushy words and the ballance tips in his side, as he got the security issue fixed and sex , all this while not compromising his life in any way

    Yes it's an unfair world Colima , and usually the people we love most are the one that hurt us the most, as the more we focus on them, the more they'll neglect you and follow their own interest ...Now it's the time to start focusing solely on yourself and getting back all the power he took from you

    Cheers, Mike
    "What you won't let die, won't let you live "

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