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Never downplay the importance of sexual compatibility in a relationship, and issues like this ARE important in the realm of compatibility. Your view of the importance of oral sex is neither sexist nor callous. And, I agree with you - it is one of the greatest things you and your partner can share together.
From a woman's point of view, those who are offended by certain aspects of sex or who are uncomfortable talking about it tend to have VERY unhealthy attitudes toward sex. I think that, more than sexual incompatibility, is a huge red flag when getting into an intimate relationship with someone.
While I agree with this, I'd also like to say from experience that some women are reluctant to give oral sex because a) They've never done it before and are afraid they'll be bad at it, or b) Someone has already told them that they're bad at it. I'll admit that I was reluctant to try it at first because I had NO idea what I was doing and was afraid I'd do a horrible job. In my case, my curiosity got the better of me (yes, I WAS horrible at it the first time, but he was kind and patient and often reminded me that practice makes perfect).
Originally Posted by Slick
I agree with Maximus - not something you'd want to bring up on a first or second (or even third) date. I don't think there's any set time frame for this - you kind of have to feel your way around (no pun intended...okay, fine, it was a LITTLE intended. ) and see how comfortable you are with each other. I agree that you can figure out a lot about someone's attitude toward sex by the way they feel about/carry themselves, and at some point the two of you will be comfortable enough to approach the subject, whether it's through sexual jokes or actual discussion.
There is nothing wrong with your attitude about this at all - intimacy and sexual compatiblity is extremely important in relationships. If you're wanting a good relationship that is fulfilling in every aspect, then you need to know how the other person feels about this.
"Are tangerines really just oranges that didn't want it enough?" - Random Greeting Card