Stressed Out!

[thatdoggirl]

The following is really long and you don't have to give advice or read it but you are more then welcome to if you want. No biggie. Just needed a place to vent.

I don't even know where to begin. It feels like I've had the most stressful week of my life. I'm sorry if it seems like I haven't been around much. I've somehow managed to leave a few posts to people here and there and I've read most of everything going on. Still got to catch up on like 40 posts I missed out on over the weekend. LOL. Which doesn't really add to my stress... adds to the things I really rather be doing right now. I'm taking a step out from everything to post this before my next class at 7 just because I need a place to vent and couldn't think of a better place.

Last week I had been signed up to volunteer at my church for a conference. I was already stressed and not feeling up to it but I decided to stick with it since I had confirmed that I would and everything and didn't want to back out of it. I'm glad I did stick with it because I actually enjoyed being there and helping out. It had been a LONG time since I'd even been to church since I work weekends but luckily I found out that they have a 20's group that meets up on Thursdays. That works out great for me and I'd been wanting to get involved in church somehow and on top of that I'm always wanting to make new friends.

It's the last few weeks of the quarter so all my school work is piling up and I have no choice but to do it all last minute because I have all these other errands going on and all this stress coming from other areas of my life but I NEED to pass all of my classes this quarter. I'm actually on academic probation. Oops! So I'm working my butt off at the last minute constantly. Today is my LONG day at school. Monday's I'm always here til 10pm for classes. Got here this morning at 10:30am.

Our electric got cut off on Thursday which was one of the days I went to volunteer at the church. They made a mistake by thinking we had a different kind of heat instead of the one we actually have an over charged us by a lot. They said that we owed them 300 something when it was really supposed to be 90 something and my mom is on an plan that is assisted by the county or something like that since currently she is unemployed for several reasons. She's been trying desperately to look for a job though. I'm the only one with the job and right now I'm trying to save money but it's practically impossible with things like this as well as not having a car for over a month or so due to the engine needing replaced. I've already put money into the parts but now we need to exchange them back for money to just put a new engine in. I am paying the fee to get the power back on which was lowered to like 260 something because they are still tacking on fees that hopefully get settled.

Wednesday night last week I didn't go to sleep til really late and got up for the church thing at 8, was there til 1pm, took a short nap, was up the rest of Thursday til really late... went back to church on Friday from 9 to 4. Then I met up with my bf and I was just stressed and tired and thinking about everything between me and him. We ended up having a really really long talk and were trying to decide to stay together or break up. It ended with staying together and trying to work things out. I didn't have time to tell you guys that I was thinking about dating other people and I told him this. But after deciding to stay together I'm dropping that whole idea. I really just want things to work out with us and now know that we both do want some of the same things but it's really going to be a struggle.

I worked my 12 hour shifts on Saturday and Sunday. Saturday night my mom, my friend, and I went over to my mom's friend Larry's for a bday party just cake and stuff. After that my mom wanted to go with me and my friend to eat dinner and then by the time 11pm rolled around we were headed back down to the area I work since there is no electic at our house. I slept in the car a bit and a few hours before work at 6am. Sunday, I worked all day and then I texted my bf after work. He has been saying that day that he missed me and that maybe we'd have time to see each other later. Then he had a ton of homework that he hadn't worked on over the weekend til then so he said he had to much homework to do and he knew that I didn't still have electric so he didn't want to come over and be in the dark and he'd invite me over there but his roommate was asleep on the couch. I was sad about this because I was so stressed over everything else I just wanted to see him but he suggested him picking me up after school today so that's what's going on today.

My friend Josh is coming down on Wednesday evening to go to the movies with me and this time he's bringing his gf along. I wanted someone to go with too so I asked my bf even though I know he has class that night so he can't make it but I asked anyway. He still said he couldn't make it so I said that I'd see about asking my friend to tag along. But the thing is the friend is the guy that wanted to date me but he knows all about me deciding to stay with my bf and he is truly a gentlemen, nice guy who completely understands. He hasn't even had a gf in 2 years and I've been around him enough to know that he respects just being friends. He's been around my mom as well. We know his character. But my bf is not happy with this at all. So now I have to talk with him about this more tonight which I'm not looking forward to because if I'm trusting my bf then he should trust me. He hangs out with his cousin weekly now (she's a girl and they aren't related) and she is known to lie and cause trouble with his family and his previous gf's by saying lies and such. I don't make a fuss about that.

Gah ok... I wrote a lot so I'm just gonna cut myself off. I only have 15 minutes til my next class anyway. Just had to get this stuff out.

[Slick]

Jess...hats off in front of you ,girl ...your words, actions and general way of thinking show a lot of maturity. Life pops all kind of challanges in front of us and on the long run , it's not about the nature of those problems, but about the way in which we overcome them.

Family members are the most important, reliable and sincere persons you have in this world....friends ? they come, they go ...few remain or are worth keeping around

I'm 100% on your side about him having to just keep his mouth shut and have confidence in you about going to the movies (which one btw ? ) with the other boy, a boy that so far, has shown a lot of respect towards you, your decisions, and even towards your boyfriend and the status he has in your eyes ...after all and when all is said an done , your BF was the one that nearly blown the relationship sky-high, not you, so i'll strongly advise him (man to man) to watch and think carefully his future actions and words...you gave him NO REASONS to doubt you so far, so don't let yourself be dragged down in this "toss the trust" uneven game.

My best wishes , Mike ;)

[Dan72]

Nice to see you Jess

Certainly sounds like you've had alot on your plate, there is no need for apologies here.

Perhaps the trust thing for him is tough right now because of the discussion you guys had when you mentioned that you may want to date other people. Give him a little time, maybe he will settle when he sees that he has no reason to worry. I know you trust him, but did he tell you that he was thinking of dating others? I don't know if 'trust' is the right word really, more like he is just a little anxious about it?

Either way, take the time you need to get yourself through this tricky period and don't neglect yourself!

We'll be here when you're ready for us